Real Quick

For those of you who don't know, on Black Friday while the rest of the world was out picking up items for themselves or others at dirt cheap prices, I was on a plane coming to Puerto Vallerta, Mexico (details to come).




I just want to point out a couple of things that's happened so far. Being African American is a wonderful thing:

• Scenario 1:

My friends and I are walking the water front (all of whom are African American). There are all types of vendors and peddlers trying to earn an honest keep. As we walk the pier, there is a sketch artist who notices us, and I notice him. Soon as he sees us, he frantically thumbs through his sketch book, and as soon as we near him, he shows us a picture he had drawn of an African Amerian man (who just happened to be Chris Rock).

• Scenario 2:

We just finish a great time at the beach. We're swimming (well at least one of us was) and playing around in the water, just having a good ole time. We were there for hours. We're kind of worn out, and tired, but we have to truck back to the hotel walking the water front again. I ironically have on swim trunks with a United States Flag on them. Now get this, four guys walking and minding our own business. One of the "vendors" yells out to us "Obama Family". Needless to say the Obama family only has one male in it, so we start joking and laughing claiming Barack!

• Scenario3:

These "sales people" are very forward with their sales approach. You can just walk down the street and you have so many people whistle at you, or call out to you "hey amigo" or various other friendly terms to get your attention so they put their sales approach all in your face. A lot of times we just say "no gracias" and keep moving. One day while all of this is going on, out of the blue we here "Hey Tyrone!". We look at each other and we just bust out laughing. Really? Tyrone?? That's the best you could come up with? Not to mention we all have names that would fit pretty much any ethnicity. You just have to wonder how he would association the name Tyrone with African Americans!!

• Last but not least:

This one action is not tied to our ethnicity, but I have never been offered so many "massages" or chicas, weed, pipes, "cigars" Tequila, pussy (yes pussy) in my life. It's all so comedic, but I guess we all have to do what it takes to survive, right?

This Sucks

Getting old is not all that! Don't get me wrong, I'm blessed and happy and all that good stuff to still be alive, but all that comes with it . . . . .

When I was younger, I was all about my hair. I used to do some of everything. I used to rock braids, I had a perm (yes a perm), long, short, dreds, just about everything.

I donned dred locks for about 8 years. Then I began to notice they were thinner then they were when I started out. Yes, my hair has started thinning.

They say men lose their hair according to their mothers side of the family. Well I never knew or met my mothers father, so I don't know what his head looked like, but if my dad did shave his head, he'd have a George Jefferson going on. I'm predicting that's my future.

I wore a size 28 - 30 for ever! I mean for the longest time. When I wore a size 28 I had to make myself gain weight to be a size 30. Now that I'm 36, I can't see being a size 30 anywhere in my future. LOL!

With that being said, I went to the doctor last week and she told me I have borderline high blood pressure. The doctor advised me if I change my eating habits and lost some weight, it would keep me off medication.

Now here's the deal,

I know I've put some weight on. I know I can stand to lose some, but as soon as I was told to lose weight, I was offended. LOL!

So here's my game plan . . . . .

I started hitting the gym on this past Monday. I'm gonna start out easy and just do some Cardio.

I used to be quite the gym rat, and I worked out at least 4 times a day. Then life happened, and I stopped going all together. Then I started back again about a year ago. It's so easy to get out of the routine if you don't stick to it. I missed going one day, and months later, I'm being told I'm fat.

I'm going to to try to chronologic my weight loss journey, not only for you, but for myself. I want to keep record, so what better place other than my blog.

Wish me luck!

Halloween Weekend

My Halloween weekend began on Thursday night at this club called CC's Slaughters with some of my boys Chris, David and Maurice & Richard (I mentioned Richard in a previous post).

We had a really good time! There has been times when we're up in the club and all the old white DRUNK men be in there trying to hit on the brotha's but this particular night, they all steered clear (Thank you).

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As I do, I danced and sweat my shirt out. After the night was over, one of my friends had a little too much to drink. He was a responsible drunk and gave his keys up. So Maurice and I made sure he got home safe and secure, got back to my car, and then got home.

My Friday was a pretty laid back day. I knew there was a party being held at my house on Saturday night, so my plan was to get up and do some cleaning. Well yea, after getting home at 3 am in the morning, the last thing I wanted to do was clean! Not to mention I started feeling a little under the weather because one of my sons had been home from school all week from being sick, si think I caught what he had.

Friday night came and Trey, Maurice, Chris, Richard and David and myself dedcided to go out again. This time we went to Redcap Garage. We did NOT have fun. The music sucked ass. They are supposed to be playing Hip Hop/R&B, but I don't think anyone told the DJ. We requested some music, and the DJ said he didn't have any hip hop. HUH!? How do you go to a Hip Hop club and the DJ doesn't play the right music!??

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We tried to make the best of it so we hung out as best we could, but something happened. Soon as we were ready to call it a night, it turned out I had to drive Trey and Maurice home because they had gotten drunk. The funny thing is, I never saw them drinking. I don't know how it happened, but oh well. So this time, Chris and I took them home. It was 3 am again by the time I got home. I have to admit, I have no problem at all making sure my friends are safe.

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I'd rather have friends who get drunk and are responsible enough to know they are too drunk to drive, then to have to them die from driving drunk and or killing somone.

Dammit! I had to get up and clean because I hadn't and the party was fastly approaching. Luckily I'm naturally a clean person so it didn't really take that much. I was so tired! I would clean a room and sit or lay down for a hour. Clean some more and lay down. I finally got all the place together, then guess what I did? Yep, I took a NAP!

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So Charles & Maurice were the hosts of the party (I just provided the spot). Maurice, Trey and Richard got here early to set up, cook and bullshit. You know how we do. We turned on the music and got busy!

So I helped with the set up, Maurice and Trey did all the cooking. Richard and I cleaned up behing the "chefs". Once all the food was done, it was time to get dressed and bust out our costumes.

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I think we pretty much got done with the set up and getting dressed just in time because the guests started showing up. There were some great costumes. Check them out:

After all the fun of Halloween night, a friend friends stayed over night (one I didn't know) and we just pretty much chilled most of Sunday. After we got our wits about us, we decided to see a movie. This is It.

I sometimes forget how much of a fan I was of Michael Jackson. He really was an extraordinary talent. All the songs he planned to perform brought back memories of when those songs or CD's were released. It's been said over and over, but the music world will NOT be the same without him.

I really had a great weekend.

Thanks friends!

Friends

Within our life and times, we will run across people who we call friends, or who we may consider associates or how about those we call acquaintances?
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While hanging out recently, I had the pleasure of enlightening someone who is becoming a friend by the name of Dale.
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Dale is new to the gay life (24 years old) and has had a hard time depicting his circle of friends. He said he has run into those who have just wanted to befriend him thinking they would get sex out of the acquaintanceship, or those who were fair weather friends (a friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these capricious, disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you).
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My only real advice to Dale was, just like outside the gay life, picking friends is really trial and error. The only thing you can do is get to know people and decide for yourself if this person can be considered a true friend or someone you just know and are friendly with. Yes readers, there is a difference.
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After my conversation with dale, I had to self-reflect on the friendships I have had over the years and I realized that I am one lucky guy. I have truly had some great friendships through out my life.
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Adrian:
I met this guy in 3rd grade, and he was in 4th. We lived next door to one another and went to the same school. Adrian came from a pretty big family and one of his older sisters would babysit my little sister. As I recall, I think I ended up moving away (but went to the same school), but because we weren't in as close proximity, we some what fell off as friends. He went to a different junior & high school, but in high school we were reconnected and to this day we are still very good friends! We don't talk very often, but when we do, it's like we just spoke the day before.

*I don't have any recent pictures of Adrian as he now lives in Las Vegas*

Marlon:
I believe I met Marlon when I was about 19 years old in a bar (which I had no business being in). We talked and had a good time. We would see one another out and about. We would dance and enjoy each others company and so we finally exchanged numbers and started hanging out. Here we are today 17 years later and we are thick as thieves. He is one of the coolest people I will ever know and someone I can truly depend on.





Richard:
Befriending Richard was a FLUKE! I knew who Richard was and he knew who I was, but outside of the occassional Hi, Hey, or Hello, we never spoke too much. He seemed like a cool dude, but we just never seemed to past the pleasantries. One fateful evening this past January I was invited to a happy hour where Richard was, and we clicked like nobody's business. I don't believe there has been a day since then we have not at least had a phone conversation. He is one laid back guy with a huge heart.






These three guys are my backbone. The people who are closest to me (in order of when we met). I love these guys like they are my own true family. There isn't a whole lot I wouldn't do for any of them.

I told Dale that he too will begin to form these types of bonds. I advised him not to rush or force things becuase it'll happen in time. Before he knows it, time will have gone by and he'll look back and realize he too has at least one friend who he can depend on and who can depend on him.

To Richard, Marlon and Adrian: You guys are my friends. My TRUE friends, and for that I thank each and every one of you personally for putting up with over the years (months for Richard) you've known me.

Friends - Whodini

AIDS Walk 2009

Today I had a great day hanging out with my two bestfriends participating is something that holds true and dear to my heart. AIDS Walk 2009.





I may, or may not have mentioned that over the years, I have had or heard of acquaintances that have been infected with HIV and or have passed away from AIDS. It wasn't until it hit home that I began to take a stand on fighting and attempting to raise awareness of this dreadful disease.

I think we all can remember our firsts: our first crush, our first kiss, our first relationship, the first time we made love (or had sex). Well my first serious relationship with another male was with a guy named Dean.

He and I had what I believed to be a strong friendship that later turned into a relationship that lasted a short 3 years. After the relationship ended, we remained friends and were able to share our thoughts with one another about the ongoings of our lives.

After our break up, Dean left the city we lived in and moved around quite a bit. There were times when he would call and tell me about this tryst or that rendevous. I would always listen as he would spill the "T" but once it was all done and said, I would always advise that he be careful. Careful to not find himself in situations that he couldn't get out of and be careful and always use protection.

As circumstance would have it, he contracted HIV and lived with it over the years and was none the wiser. He did not find out he was HIV+ until one day he was in the mall and collapsed. It was a brief 3 or 4 months after that fateful day in the mall that he found himself in the hospital with pneumonia and passed away.





Since then I have first cousin contract HIV and another cousin pass away with complications from AIDS.

Every year I do what I can to raise money and participate in the AIDS walk to show my support to those living with or those who have died from HIV and/or AIDS.

Sex? No Thank You

In a recent conversation with a good friend, I recently discovered I'm somewhat unable to live in the moment when it comes to relationships and dating.


I spoke about how I tend to fall for people fast and hard. Now don't get me wrong, I don't like just anybody so if they get my attention and are able to maintain it then they will have a keeper on their hands.


So with that being said, I mentioned how I don't like to have sex just for the "fuck" of it. What I mean by that is, if I am going to have sex with someone it's going to be more than just SEX. I want to have some type of emotional bond or connection. I'm not nor have I ever been into one night stands, so that isn't an issue.

I was in a relationship that ended this past June but I haven't had sexual intercourse since March. Since the break up, I have been waiting to realize I'm the one for them. It has all but consumed me. In all my relationships this was the shortest at less than 1 year, but I digress. This isn't what this blog is about.


If I am going to be with someone intimately what I desire is to have some type of emotional connection. I'm really trying not to use the terms "making love or make love" because I can have sexual intercourse without being in love, but I must have some other feelilng besides lust.


Could it be that I am abnormal? Abnormal, especially in the same gender loving community? One of the sterotypes that we live with is the fact that we are out to have as much sex with as many people as we possibly can. Is this factual?


Whereas I desire to be intimate with someone, whereas I do desire a relationship, I don't think I'm willing to trade my moral values or my own personal beliefs for a moment of pleasure.

Love Alone

No one would love me

if they knew all the things I hide

My words fall to the floor

As tears drip through the telephone line

And the hands I’ve seen raised to the sky

Not waving but drowning all this time

I'll try to build the ark that I need

To float to you upon the crystal sea

And everyone cries for the innocent

You say to love the guilty too

And I'm surrounded by suffering and sickness

So I'm working

And the pain of the world is a burden

And I feel it's my cross to bear

As I stumble under all the weight I know you're

standing there.

Give me your hand to hold

Cause I can't stand to love alone

And love alone is not enough to hold us up

Push a novel by Sapphire

This is a novel about a young girl name Claireece Precious Jones written by an author named Sapphire and is being produced by Oprah Winfrey & Tyler Perry.

This book was orignally released in 1996, but has recently come to the forefront.

For those of you plan on reading the book or seeing the movie, I will not give too much away, but I will so I highly recommend this book to anyone who has every struggled through anything.

I like to think I had a pretty sheltered childhood and in my life travels that has become more and more clear.

In reading the way the girl was brought up from birth until current day just hurts my heart. As a parent, I couldn't possibly see how something of this nature could go on right under my nose.

I'm really excited to see this book made into a motion picture. There is all kind of Oscar buzz about this movie. I hope the academy doesn't burn us (African American's) as they have so many times before.

Thanks for taking the time to read this little post of mine. If I were to grade this book, it would get a solid A from me. If there are any other people who have read this book, I'd like to know your thoughts on it.