Ramblings

How many times do you have to say "FUCK YOU" before I get it. As a matter of fact, don't worry about it, because I've finally caught on.

Let me explain where this is coming from:

There is this guy who has declared his undying love and and endless friendship for and with me. We have shared ups and downs as all good friends do, but come on dude. Let's just be honest.

Yes, I love you deeply and I appreciate your friendship. You have done things for me that I wouldn't think to expect from anyone, and for that I appreciate you.

HOWEVER,
There are times when I feel I am the average Joe in your life. Yes, you have a man. I get it. Not only do I get it, but I understand it. Does your friendship have to fall to the wayside because of your relationship? Seriously, lets think about it.

Scenarios:

1. We plan an outing, just you and I. Then you say, oh I invited Mikey to come along too. Well ok, I'll deal with it, but I didn't invite Mikey to come along. We plan to meet at 3 in the afteroon, 6 o'clock rolls around and I text you "I haven't heard from you so I'm heading out". In response, I get "Oh, Mikey wasn't ready. I had a hard time getting him out the door, but we'll be coming soon"

So let me get this straight. You and I make plans. It's Zechariah and Bryun. Then Bryun says, Oh, I invited Mikey without asking you, not knowing if there was something in particular you wanted to see you about or to talk to you about. To top it off, Mikey takes his own sweet time getting ready, which in turn makes you over 3 hours late with not one single text or phone call to say you were running late. So I finally pick up the phone and say I'm out. Then you come down on me about it. Really? No, like for real?

2. We go out to a bar. Zechariah has had a couple cocktails, and realizing Mikey said he may not stay the entire nite, he says to Bryun "If you and Mikey are ready to go, I know my way back to to the hotel." Bryun responds with "I'm not ready to go, it's all good". So what does Zechariah do? He gets more drinks. Disclaimer: What Bryun may not have known is that Zechariah was having doubles, and two at a time. Drinking one of his drinks at the bar and then sipping the other.

Zechariah is at the bar about ten minutes later, about to order another drink, and here comes Bryun saying that Mikey is ready to go and they are about to leave. *pause* I say, are you really going to leave me here all by myself? Bryun looks at me and with a irritated voice says "YES". I'm appauled. I'm drunk. I know I shouldn't be left alone, so angrily, I say, Let's Go. Not another word to be spoke the rest of the night.

3. One night a bunch of us go out to a bar. David gets heavily intoxicated, and when it comes time leave Bryun tells Zechariah to drive David home and make sure he gets home safely, while he and Mikey wait at the bar for him to get back. A couple weekends later, we're all out together again and Zechariah is drinking. Getting his drink on. Early in the evening Bryun looks at Zechariah and says "Mikey is ready to go, so we'll see you later, and leaves"

Zechariah is DRUNK at the bar and has to sleep in his car because he's trying to be responsible and not drink and drive. Meanwhile Bryun gets home safe and comfy with Mikey and sends Zechariah a text saying: Let me know you made it home safe." Needless to say because I had to sleep in my car, that text went unanswered and Bryun then freaks out because he hasn't heard from Zechariah. Now, let's review. . . . I'm Bryun's bestie. He leaves me at a bar drunk, but makes sure that one of his associates get home safe.

Brian, I have to say that I'm tired. I'm tired of being told what and how much I mean to you, but when it comes down to it, your actions speak louder than words. YES, you have been there for me in times of need, as I have you, but have I EVER just straight dissed you for anyone else? Let me answer, NO I HAVE NOT. I may be a irritating drunk, but in the end, I am ALWAYS looking out for you weather Mikey is there or not, and I'm about sick and tired of driving on this one way highway, and I'm ready to find a 2 way highway.

You say I'm hard on you, but because you supposedly know me best, you should already know my actions and responses before they even happen. Sure I may be hard on you, and if I am, that's because you are supposed to know me best and when things go down when you are around, I'm not even supposed to worry or concern myself, because a bestie is going to be there for me no matter what!

Yes, you have a man. I get it. Trust me, I get it, but being your "best buddy" If I don't rank #1, then I need to be in a close 2nd, and I don't feel that. NOT AT ALL. I'm being totally and completely honest when I say that.

Don't apologize, because we've been down this road before. How many times should I forgive you for the same occurances?

Sincerely,

Jaded Best Friend (Zechariah)