Words, Sounds & Wisdom

Just a thought

2011-11-19T22:19:00.001-08:00

Sometime love just isn't enough

I confess

2011-06-21T17:43:00.001-07:00

I have a bad temper

I know that I have a short temper, and I TRY so hard to manage it, but it doesn't always work out that way. My friend Richard prides himself on being "easy going", but we are so opposite in that manner, and it cracks me up.

In retrospect I see when I "went off" or reacted a way where I could have taken a different route, but didn't and then I feel bad.

Needless to say when I'm sounding off, I feel I'm in the right, but after I cool off, I think how I could have handled the situation differently (or should I say better).

Well, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and have a cooler head and think before I speak. If my head explodes, you guys know why. If I slip, just know I'm trying. LOL!!

Loud & Clear

2011-06-12T20:06:00.000-07:00

I heard it loud and clear

If you have read any of my most recent post, you will know I have been having some troubles in my relationship. Most of the advice I got was to voice my concerns becuase it wouldn't be fair to go on being mad and upset without my boyfriend knowing the full story. So I did.

I had a conversation with him about how I felt my concerns had gone unvalidated and how I would like for them be acknowledged.

It was a good conversation. There was no bickering or arguing. He listened to what I had to say, and I did the same in return. He had very good points as to why he hadn't addressed the issue at hand, and in fair turnaround, I understood.

The conversation went on and it ended with him saying he wanted to think about it. He wants to give me a deserving response as opposed to simply saying "I acknowledge you or I validate you". He wanted to be given the time to think about our most recent conversation where cooler heads prevailed.

I agreed. This was a week ago.

During this time, we have focused on getting back on track with communicating, and being loving and affectionate the way we had been. I had missed him like crazy. So it was nice to be able to laugh and talk like we had.

So there hasn't been any response. The fact of the matter is, I feel there won't be one. I have reconcilled the fact that this particular issue will simply be swept under the carpet never to see daylight again. I suppose I'm okay with that, but it just makes me wonder if we run into big issues again, will this repeat? I don't know. I know that I love him with my whole heart and I am commited to him and this relationship.

I've made a decision

2011-06-03T13:48:00.000-07:00

There are going to be some changes around here

I've had this blog for a couple of years. I've talked about vacations, friends, love, family and just life as a whole. The other day I wrote about something that is very personal for me and it was a issue had a hard time expressing to the person that needed to hear it.

After I wrote the blog and published it, I felt a weight taken off my shoulders. No it didn't solve anything, and I know it could have possibly fallen on deaf ears, but for me to get it off my chest was therapy in itself.

I haven't been very open in candid in my previous post, but from this day going forward, I am going to open up and expose myself and the things I go through.

This is not going to be easy for me because I'm such a personal person and I was raised old school not to air my dirty laundry and to keep my business to myself.

For those who read Words, Sounds & Wisdom, I may write about you. NEVER would I ever post your real name or any dead give aways because I respect each and everyone of my friends, boyfriends, and associates. If you recognize yourself and you want to expose yourself, so be it.

I have great friends and they are always there to listen and give good advise, but sometimes I just want to be able to sound off and look for advice, or sometimes when you know people so well, you know what they will say, so I'm looking to get a new voice and opinion(s).

I hope you enjoy.

A Little About Z

2011-06-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

I have experienced love and what I thought was love. I know what love is, I know how to love and I believe I know how to receive love.

I will say I am not very experienced in relationships. I've only had 3. First one with Greggory lasted almost 3 years. The second with Adair lasted 3 years, and the third with Darnell lasted 10 years.

With that being said, the relationship I had with Darnell, really shouldn't have gone past 5 or 6 because after that, it was infidelity after infidelity followed by lies and deceit. There was part of me that wanted to feel like I was enough and all Darnell needed and repeatedly, it was proven I wasn't. I hate being lied to. I would rather be told the truth, and deal with it from there.

Sadly, in my mind I thought I was able to put that hurt to rest. I thought it didn't have a lasting impression on me. I thought I had put it in the past and moved forward. After the relationship with Darnell ended I purposely stayed single. I took the time to focus on me. Get back to being me and learning how to be single. It wasn't easy.

The simpliest part of it all was being single. I didn't desire to be with anyone, and over the years I was with Darnell, everyone knew me to be in a relationship so I just formed friendships with people.

Once I thought I was ready to love again, I would put myself out there, and I found that everyone just wanted to have sex, and that just wasn't my thing. I am not into having casual sex. That's not to say I haven't had hook-ups, but it isn't on the top of my list.

I've embarked on love.

Darnell burned me emotionally and apparently mentally. I take issue with my mate being on dating sites such as BGC, A4A, Men4NOW, and any other dating site. I have serious issue with my partner having private pictures that I knjow he shares outside of our relationship. I have a hard time dealing with the fact that online, he's a HUGE flirt. I know that he has shared and exchanged XXX rated photos via text, email, and websites, and it hurts my feelings.

As you read this, I'm sure you're asking yourself if I have vocalized this to my guy. I have. He's simply says "It's just pictures". It's so much more than that to me.

It takes me back to my insecurities and it is now causing problems because we have totally different views on the issue and it's always making me think and wonder.

He seems to think it's a trust issues. Is it? I don't know. I don't think for one minute he has stepped outside the relationship, so I don't see it as being a trust issue. FOR ME, it's a respect issue. To get to the point of sending nude photos, there has to be some type of talk/interaction for it to get to that level. Flirting if you will. After the pictures are exchanged, there has to be further dialogue and THAT makes me sooo uneasy.

This could potentially cause serious issues.

Before anyone chimes in, he's a great guy. Other than this, we have no other issues. I'm not looking for someone to be right or wrong, or to bash him or me, what I'm hoping for is some sincere advice on how we are able to get over this hump.

Signed,
Wanting to hold on

Rant

2011-05-28T23:12:00.000-07:00

I feel lonely

It Gets Better

2010-12-04T17:28:00.001-08:00

My Delivery

2010-11-24T02:48:00.000-08:00

*In my Bernie Mac voice*

America, I have a problem

It's become apparent that I don't know how to talk to people.

I can be in the best of moods, and (in my mind), I'm having a good time with my friends, but then circumstance would have it, I've either said or done something that has offended them or have put them on the defense.

There have been times when I have walked away from a conversation with a smile on my face, to later get a phone call defending something that I said or have done, and I'm flabbergast. Standing there looking like whoa!

After my friend has come after me with their double barrel shot gun loaded, I then have to defuse the situation by explaning how I wasn't mad or upset or being accusatory.

Yea, I know everyone is differently and you can't talk to or treat everyone the same. I thought I was doing just that, but apparently I have done a poor job of it, and I now see the light.

America, I now know my downfall and I have set a goal of becoming less accusatory is my speech, have less dry humor, and just be down right DRY.

Wish me luck!

Know your status

2010-11-20T07:37:00.000-08:00

I went last week to get my HIV/AIDS test. It's a pretty uneventful experience, but you get so antsy and anxious awaiting the results.

With World Aids Day coming up around the corner, I should have waited, but better know, than not to know, right?

So I went to the place called Pivot where they conduct the rapid test. You find out your results in 20 minutes as opposed to having to wait a week or two to get a phone call or get the results in the mail.

They have a really nice office place. While you wait, they play a movie on this large screen television where you sit in this area that is set up like a living room. If you aren't into the movies, they have comuters there for you to use so you can surf the net. Of course there are magazines and books too.

Once your number is called, you go into this room, and you just swab your mouth and then the timer starts. While you are in the room waiting, you are asked a few questions such as, when was your last test, when was the last time you had unprotected sex, have you ever knowingly had sex with one who was HIV positive. Then the rest of the time, are just talking. They people that work there try to make it as comfortable as they can. Once the timer is up, you get your results and depending on the outcome, they go from there.

Overall, it was a very easy, comforting experience. Good job Pivot.

-Know Your Status

2010-09-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Hey blogging world. I know its been quite a while since I dropped some Words, Sounds, & Wisdom, but I'm going to do much better. I had been having intermediate internet connection at my house and it was wearing thin on my nerves, so I just rarely logged on.

There have been some things going on in my world, but I'll just sum it all up for you guys (or at least try)

Work

For those of you who don't know, I was laid from my job back in July of 2009. I was out of work for nearly 10 months, but I went back to the same company in a different department this past May. Being off work was no joke! I mean it was fun for a while, but then the money started getting more and more tight. I'm glad to be back at the same company. It feels like home.

Family

My family is a trip. I'm sure it's that way with everyone's family, but my kids are off the hook. They act like life is horrible for them. The next time one of them tell me they want to leave, the next words out of my mouth will be "Good-bye".

Health

My health is cool. Still trying to drop some of this weight. I'm doing pretty good, but I could be doing much better. I haven't been to the gym in a few weeks, but I am watching what I eat. I've lost some weight, not as much as I want to, but here lately I have had a few people ask if I've dropped some, so it must be noticeable. Needless to say, that makes me smile when people say something about it.

That's just a quick/brief catching up on me. As things happen or come to mind, I will be back more often. "Keep coming back, it works"

Ramblings

2010-08-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

How many times do you have to say "FUCK YOU" before I get it. As a matter of fact, don't worry about it, because I've finally caught on.

Let me explain where this is coming from:

There is this guy who has declared his undying love and and endless friendship for and with me. We have shared ups and downs as all good friends do, but come on dude. Let's just be honest.

Yes, I love you deeply and I appreciate your friendship. You have done things for me that I wouldn't think to expect from anyone, and for that I appreciate you.

HOWEVER,
There are times when I feel I am the average Joe in your life. Yes, you have a man. I get it. Not only do I get it, but I understand it. Does your friendship have to fall to the wayside because of your relationship? Seriously, lets think about it.

Scenarios:

1. We plan an outing, just you and I. Then you say, oh I invited Mikey to come along too. Well ok, I'll deal with it, but I didn't invite Mikey to come along. We plan to meet at 3 in the afteroon, 6 o'clock rolls around and I text you "I haven't heard from you so I'm heading out". In response, I get "Oh, Mikey wasn't ready. I had a hard time getting him out the door, but we'll be coming soon"

So let me get this straight. You and I make plans. It's Zechariah and Bryun. Then Bryun says, Oh, I invited Mikey without asking you, not knowing if there was something in particular you wanted to see you about or to talk to you about. To top it off, Mikey takes his own sweet time getting ready, which in turn makes you over 3 hours late with not one single text or phone call to say you were running late. So I finally pick up the phone and say I'm out. Then you come down on me about it. Really? No, like for real?

2. We go out to a bar. Zechariah has had a couple cocktails, and realizing Mikey said he may not stay the entire nite, he says to Bryun "If you and Mikey are ready to go, I know my way back to to the hotel." Bryun responds with "I'm not ready to go, it's all good". So what does Zechariah do? He gets more drinks. Disclaimer: What Bryun may not have known is that Zechariah was having doubles, and two at a time. Drinking one of his drinks at the bar and then sipping the other.

Zechariah is at the bar about ten minutes later, about to order another drink, and here comes Bryun saying that Mikey is ready to go and they are about to leave. *pause* I say, are you really going to leave me here all by myself? Bryun looks at me and with a irritated voice says "YES". I'm appauled. I'm drunk. I know I shouldn't be left alone, so angrily, I say, Let's Go. Not another word to be spoke the rest of the night.

3. One night a bunch of us go out to a bar. David gets heavily intoxicated, and when it comes time leave Bryun tells Zechariah to drive David home and make sure he gets home safely, while he and Mikey wait at the bar for him to get back. A couple weekends later, we're all out together again and Zechariah is drinking. Getting his drink on. Early in the evening Bryun looks at Zechariah and says "Mikey is ready to go, so we'll see you later, and leaves"

Zechariah is DRUNK at the bar and has to sleep in his car because he's trying to be responsible and not drink and drive. Meanwhile Bryun gets home safe and comfy with Mikey and sends Zechariah a text saying: Let me know you made it home safe." Needless to say because I had to sleep in my car, that text went unanswered and Bryun then freaks out because he hasn't heard from Zechariah. Now, let's review. . . . I'm Bryun's bestie. He leaves me at a bar drunk, but makes sure that one of his associates get home safe.

Brian, I have to say that I'm tired. I'm tired of being told what and how much I mean to you, but when it comes down to it, your actions speak louder than words. YES, you have been there for me in times of need, as I have you, but have I EVER just straight dissed you for anyone else? Let me answer, NO I HAVE NOT. I may be a irritating drunk, but in the end, I am ALWAYS looking out for you weather Mikey is there or not, and I'm about sick and tired of driving on this one way highway, and I'm ready to find a 2 way highway.

You say I'm hard on you, but because you supposedly know me best, you should already know my actions and responses before they even happen. Sure I may be hard on you, and if I am, that's because you are supposed to know me best and when things go down when you are around, I'm not even supposed to worry or concern myself, because a bestie is going to be there for me no matter what!

Yes, you have a man. I get it. Trust me, I get it, but being your "best buddy" If I don't rank #1, then I need to be in a close 2nd, and I don't feel that. NOT AT ALL. I'm being totally and completely honest when I say that.

Don't apologize, because we've been down this road before. How many times should I forgive you for the same occurances?

Sincerely,

Jaded Best Friend (Zechariah)

Repost - Get On With Life

2010-08-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

Some people are not going t like you no matter what you do or what you say. Get over it and get on with life.

Some of your efforts are not going to bring the results you were after. Accept it and get on with life.

Occassionly, you'll be distracted and knocked off course for a while. On a regular basis, life will have its disappointments. Learn from it and get on with life.

Those disappointments and distractions do not have to stop you. If fact, you can choose to let them inspire you and to push you forward. Channel your disappointments and get on with life.

No matter what has just happened, you are free in this moment to act with positive purpose. Weather the past has worked in your favor or not, the future is yours to create as you wish. Embrace what's to come and get on with life.

Life is too important to waste it feeling sorry for yourself or beating yourself up. Get up and get on with life, and make it match your highest expectations.

Get on with life

Vancouver B.C. 2010

2010-07-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

This seems to have turned into an annual trip. Who's mad? Not me!! We arrived in the beautiful city of Vancouver B.C. Canada about 4 pm after the long drive from Portland, Oregon. Chris did all the driving while Richard and I kept him compay. Well, I actually entertained myself in the back seat taking pictures:

After getting to the hotel and dropping our bags, we hit the streets. These guys are some serious walkers!! We just walked around downtown checking out the sights and seeing what we see. You know how you do, when you want to get a feel for things. We then finally wanted to grab a bite to eat, so we ended up having sushi at SushiMart. I like sushi, so I was pleased with the decision.

I can't remember exactly what I had, but I know it was GOOD. Made a happy man out of me. Chris & Richard thought they were all fancy eating with their chop sticks. So what I have tried thousands of times and just can't get it. It just doesn't feel comfortable, so I never think I'm doing it right. They didn't have silverware, so I just used my hands, ghetto huh?

Once we finished having lunch, we took back to the streets, just walking about and not really doing much of anything. That's the cool thing about being on vacation. You can wander around and not have a destination. Good times, right!

We stopped at one of our favortie coffee shops called Blenz. It was at Blenz we just kinda chilled out for a bit using their free Wifi. Chris and I checked out things online with our phones while Richard caught up on all the gay news.

Needless to say we walked around some more then decided to go back to the hotel to change clothes and get ready for the evening. We went to two different bars. One was super packed, but not a lot going on, and the other was boring!!

Rockin' This Shit Like

2010-07-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Hurt Feelings

2010-07-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in quite a bit, and I hate to have to come with something so heavy, but this is what I have on my heart and I just need to share it:

EDIT

You know, this was going to start out to be a low deep feeling blah blah blah blog, but I gotta pull myself up by my boot straps, and keeping it moving. If you are in my life, it's because I want you there. No if, ands or buts. If and when conflict occurs, true friends will talk through it and keep it moving. The past is in the past, and I'm here to look forward to my future.

Make My Heart

2010-04-27T15:51:00.000-07:00

I owe Ms. Toni Braxton an apology. When I first saw this video being posted on others blogs, I wasn't a fan of it in the least bit. As a matter of fact, I may have even been a little to critical.. .. .. .. Well this song has grown on me. I've found myself dancing around the house "sweating out my hair" and hitting a few of the dance moves from the video. I see you queens working it out!

Gone Ms. Braxton

http://www.tonibraxton.com/video/make-my-heart/

Ciara Ft Ludacris RIDE

2010-04-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

What are you thoughts on this song/video? In watching, I noticed that she has absolutely NO hips or ass.

Ranting

2010-04-10T21:39:00.001-07:00

So this morning I woke up to swollen glands in my neck. It didn't hurt like a son of a bitch, but it was tender to the touch. I did some reading and it's basically my body fighting of an infection, more than likely a cold of some sort. Great! it also caused me to have a bit of a fever.

So because I wasn't really feeling my best, I decided in my mind I was going to just stay home all day and lay in the bed. I did that until about 4:00 then I needed to run to the grocery store for some items. While I was there, I get a call from a friend who says he needs to come by my place to pick up something he left during a potluck we had. He was in my neighborhood, so I cut my shopping trip short to make it to my house before he and his boyfriend did.
Well I get here and wait. Then I waited some more. These motherfuckers never showed up. No big deal right because it was my intent to just lay around any way, right? WRONG! Like I said I stopped shopping to come home so he could get his belongings.

The day continues and I get a call to say my niece is getting on my mother's nerves and if I can come pick her up so she can stay the night with me. I live out in the burbs and my mother doesn't drive more than a 10 mile radius from her house, but I say sure (I know what it's like to need to get a break from a child). In the mean time I get a call from another friend asking if I want to have coffee with him. Since I'm leaving anyway, I say sure.

This friends is NOT in the direction of my original destination, but again I figure since I'm getting back out, I'll do something enjoyable.

As I get to their place, I notice their vehicle is gone, so I look at my phone and I have a text saying they left and to meet them at their neighborhood Starbucks. I get a little annoyed because I couldn't figure out why they would leave when they knew I was on my way, but what the heck. I get to the Starbucks, but before I get out the car, I have another text saying they are not at the Starbucks another local coffee spot that I have never heard of so needless to say, I've never been. Now I'm pissed the fuck off. Why in the Sam Hell do you have me chasing your ass around town? Fuck that I'm out!

Now as you're reading this, you may be saying, what's the big deal Zechariah. Well, I'll tell you. The night before I get an invitation to dinner by some friends. The invitation originally says 8:00, but then I get another notification saying 8:30. The person that sent the invitation doesn't show up until 9:00.

In my opinion, I think it's was/is rude and inconsiderate of people to not take others time into consideration

Why would you say you are going to come to my house for something you left, I tell you I'm on my way and then you just not show up. No call or anything.
You invite me to event to hang out, and then not wait for me to come. You tell me to meet you one place, when I get to that place you aren't there but at another place. REALLY?
How dare you invite me someone where and then show up 30 minutes late.

Needless to say I gave two of them a piece of my mind. I may have been a little hard hitting on them both, but in my opinion, these events were not cool. Am I wrong for reacting the way I did? Did I over react?

Love

2010-04-10T03:43:00.000-07:00

Breathless kisses

Burning touches

Soft-spoken words of love

Urgently spoken words of passion.

from a man to a man

One complete love

Since time began

Predestined to be as one.

We've been together before

In other lifetimes

We've fought dragons

And have been torn from each others arms

Yet our love prevailed.

We've walked on this earth many times together

Perhaps for a moment

Perhaps for years

But our heart is one heart

And we were meant to be.

So when our time on earth

Once again comes to a close

Have no worries my dear

For we will find each other again

And again

And again.

For our love is ageless

Eternal

A love for all time.

2010 Census

2010-04-07T03:29:00.000-07:00

So just how should black Americans Negro'sidentify themselves on the new 2010 census? Black? African-American? Maybe Negro?

When it came time to decide, the agency punted in the racial classifications and included all three, stirring some anger in the black community over the dated "Negro" reference.

On a recent C-SPAN Washington Journal, the issue caught up with Census Bureau Director Robert Groves. He was challenged by a caller, prompting an unusual apology and a prediction that the word will be erased in the next census in 2020.

"I am black. I did not appreciate the black, the African-American, and Negro," said the caller. "It really hurt my feelings ... that, to me, is racist."

Groves was ready with his apology:

"First of all, let me apologize to you on behalf of all my colleagues." He further explained. "The intent of every word on the race and ethnicity questions is to be as inclusive as possible so that all of us could see a word that rings a bell for us… it was not to be offensive, and again, I apologize on that.

My speculation is that in 2020 that word will disappear and there are gonna be other words that are gonna change."

I know when I first comopleted my Census form, I was like "Negro" I don't I was as offended as I was shocked that this word was on such an important form.

For those of you who have completed the form, what were you first reaction?

Body Art

2010-04-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

What are your thoughts on tattoos?

Can you have too many?

What are your limitations if any?

Did you know . . .

2010-03-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

Aspirin isn’t the only “wonder drug that works wonders” that Bayer made. The German pharmaceutical giant also introduced heroin to the world.

The company was looking for a cough suppressant that didn’t have problematic side effects, mainly addiction, like morphine and codeine. And if it could relieve pain better than morphine, that was a welcome bonus.

When one of Bayer’s chemists approached the head of the pharmacological lab with ASA — to be sold under the name “aspirin” — he was waved away. The boss was more interested in something else the chemists had cooked up — diacetylmorphine.

Damn you Janet

2010-03-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

According to Ms. Janet Jackson,

she is not working on a new album

Even though there are two new tracks in rotation, there is is disappointing news. Janet talked to Rolling Stone magazine and says she isn't working on a new album.

She says there was a time when she was in the studio and recording, but not working on an acual album.

Earlier, Janet and Tyler Perry appeared on ET and Today to promote the April 2nd release of Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too. Janet is already getting rave reviews for her emotional performance as Patricia, who will unravel on the screen. "Nothing" will play over the end credits in the movie. Jermaine Dupri produced the track that was leaked several days ago, listen to it {HERE}.

New Flash? Breaking News?

2010-03-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

Ricky Martin is gay, too!

In a stunning(?) bit of news that no one ever guessed, Ricky Martin actually IS gay.

On a blog post he says:

A few months ago I decided to write my memoirs, a project I knew was going to bring me closer to an amazing turning point in my life. From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time. Things that were too heavy for me to keep inside. Writing this account of my life, I got very close to my truth. And thisis something worth celebrating.

For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that's the stage. Being on stage fills my soul in many ways, almost completely. It's my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive. I don't ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I'm at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment. At this moment I'm feeling the same freedom I usually feel only on stage, without a doubt, I need to share.

Many people told me: "Ricky it's not important", "it's not worth it", "all the years you've worked and everything you've built will collapse", "many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature". Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.

If someone asked me today, "Ricky, what are you afraid of?" I would answer "the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war...child slavery, terrorism...the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith." But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.

These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed.

What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

Bottom line, he sounds happy about coming out. And if that's the case, let's hold up a big cocktail to the man who no longer has to live la vida loca in secret.

Deonté Kanye

2010-03-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today I'm wishing a guy who started out a friend, then transformed into a Brother-In-Law and now I consider my brother.

You can find this cat all over the web. My most favorite place to visit him is [HERE], but if you check him out there, you must also check him out {here}.

Deonté is an innovator and a originator. This is last year in his 20's so I hope everyone who reads this post takes the time wish my brother a very happy birthday.

Happy

Birthday

Deonté

Recognize Yourself?

2010-02-24T07:19:00.000-08:00

The 8 Black Gays you will meet in your lifetime

The Skinny Bitch
This strain of Black gay is typically very young (“green”) but quickly rises in popularity in his newfound social circle because of his youth, pliability and quick mastery of shade. His goal is to accrue as many enemies as possible since he’s convinced that having enough people that despise him means he’s “doing something right.” He will spend an entire month’s salary on designer sunglasses because he considers them social currency.

Activities: “Walking”, throwing shade, wearing eyeliner, being penetrated, hogging the camera, starting arguments with strangers, making youtube videos, going to the mall.

Diva of Choice: Beyonce or Rihanna (there is no in-between)

Top or Bottom: Bottom.

The Homo Thug
The Homo Thug’s days are numbered since this is a group that usually patterns itself after trends in Hip-Hop, and the thug image is slowly fading. However, this image is still a selling point in gay porn and a popular refuge for closeted men. He usually has archaic notions about Black male sexuality and equates “thug” with masculinity. He is disrespectful, self-hating, and needs to pull his pants up.

Activities: Hiding, lying, saying “I don’t do that gay shit”,
smoking weed, being ignorant, having kids, having a limited vocabulary, not returning calls, breaking hearts.

Diva of Choice: Lil’ Wayne

Top or Bottom: Outdoor Top/Indoor Bottom

The Big Boy
These teddy bears are sweet, loving, warm and always horny. The lines between a good meal and good sex are often so blurred that any conversation involving “meat” will simply have to be taken in stride. He is way more confident than you think he has a right to be, always has a date (because he looks “healthy”), he’s funny, and will give you anything in the world as long as you are consistently fucking his brains out.

Activities: Calling skinny bitches “skinny bitches”, cooking, hugging, making inappropriate double entendres, grabbing.

Diva of Choice: Jennifer Hudson

Top or Bottom: Bottom.

The Muscle Queen
They roll in packs and only date each other. You never see them during the winter months because they are in the gym 24/7. Come summer, he’s wearing the smallest tank-top or the tightest t-shirt. Don’t bother lusting after him, because you do not exist in his world.

Activities: Making fun of fat people, lifting weights, talking about lifting weights, accusing skinny people of being sick, dating white guys, bumping into people, being penetrated.

Diva of Choice: Creatine.

Top or Bottom: Power Bottom

The Church Queen
In spite of the Black church’s reputation for homophobia and intolerance, you will find that a number of Black gay men make the church the cornerstone of their social interaction, perhaps out of a sense of familial or religious obligation, or simply because the choir is so fierce. The Church Queen is usually loyal and loving, but is prone to Tourette-like outbursts of “Jee-suss!!” in any given situation. He listens to gospel music constantly and considers Loretta Divine his spirit animal.

Activities: Cooking, talking loud, clutching his pearls, singing, being called “mother”, being single, speaking with a southern twang even though he’s from the midwest or the northeast.

Diva of Choice: Karen Clark Sheard

Top or Bottom: Sanctified Bottom

The Uppity Snob
He is educated, has a six-figure salary, a nice car and a big house, but nothing is good enough for him. He will throw dinner parties with his Coven Of The Articulate and they will all wear hard-soled shoes regardless of the season, time of day or theme. When he’s among other types of gays, he will roll his eyes, sneer, or attempt to oppress them intellectually. In spite of all his accomplishments, he’ll never be happy, can’t take a joke and never laughs. He can usually be found in the club wearing a blazer and sipping a cocktail against the wall.

Activities: Debating, sighing, having a small penis, having furniture delivered, going to the spa, being offended, finding excuses to use any word that requires a schwa.
Diva of Choice: Whitney Houston
Top or Bottom: Bottom

The Alterna-Queen
He doesn’t like the “gay scene” because he finds it “too mainstream.” You can find him a coffee shop with his MacBook Pro listening to underground Soul or Hip-Hop, writing poetry and waiting for someone with whom he can debate the oppression of goats and librarians. He often accuses people of “not getting” him and reactively dislikes anything that everyone else likes. He’s basically “The Uppity Snob” but with dreadlocks.

Activities: Poetry slams, debating, having his locks re-twisted, blogging, shopping at outdoor markets, calling himself a photographer, quoting Marcus Garvey, dating white men.
Diva of Choice: Some bitch you never heard of.
Top or Bottom: Top for white guys, otherwise bottom.

The Old Queen
The Old Queen has seen everything and done everyone. He thinks you’re frivolous and that you stole everything from his generation. He will say things like “in my day, the men were men” and “remember when House music was House music?” He is short of patience and doesn’t want to hear your whining.
Activities: Knowing everything. Remembering everything.
Diva of Choice: Stephanie Mills, Teena Marie, Chaka Khan or Luther Vandross.
Top or Bottom: Like it even matters

*I got this from my buddy. I just had to share it!

the houseboy

2010-02-23T04:03:00.000-08:00

I rented a movie from Netflix and got it in the mail like two weeks ago. I don't know why I rent these corny ass gay movies with the horrible acting and editing, but I continue to abuse myself and sit through them. Sometimes, I even stay awake. The movie I sat and watched is called The Houseboy. This film stars a young man by the name of Nick May who plays a character named Ricky.

The movie is about Ricky being the 3rd in a relationship. He over hears the couple talking about replacing him and he all but loses it.

Relationships are a trip, and they can really do things to your head when they don't go the way you would like it to.

I recommend this movie. I'll say the acting leaves something to be desired, but the story line is surprisingly good. If you rent and watch it, let me know your thoughts.

Wrecked!

2010-02-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

So I had a great Valentine's Day. What did I do? I'm glad you asked. I didn't really do anything.

I met up with a friend of mine for a coffee, and while on my way home, I take the long road that's full of curves and stuff.

Here I am minding my own business, and I see these headlights comin my way and I thought "this car is driving too fast around these curves". Before I could even get the thought out all way then B•A•M she hit's me. I was glad I didn't roll over and go down one of them cliffs.

I get attempt to get out the car, but the door is stuck, so I have to climb out of the passenger side. I was mad as hell, but I know accidents happen so I didn't cuss her out like I wanted to.

Needless to say, she was very apologetic and everything, we exchanged each others information, but the road we're is is very rual and there were no other cars, nor did we have cell phone service her car was drivable, as was mine so we parted ways.

When I got home, (being the gentleman that I am) gave her a call and made sure she got home ok. When I called she picked up immediately and our conversation was pretty brief. I then called her insurance company to get the ball rolling on getting this taken care of.

Here we are eight days later, and they STILL haven't talked to her. They have assured me they've called her serveral times and she hasn't bothered to call them back. Now I know she must want to get her car fixed so I don't know what the hold up is.

Her people have come out to my house and inspected my car and the whole nine. They said they can tell by the damage it's clear she is the one who crossed over into my lane. The adjuster said it's going to be very cut and dry, ONCE THEY GET A STATEMENT FROM HER.

It's all very frustrating. When I call her, it goes straight to voicemail. FML!

February Birthdays

2010-02-21T16:55:00.000-08:00

February is a birthday filled month amongst my friends:
Chris 02/17
Richard 02/17
Anthony 02/19

Marlon 02/20

Bruce 02/21

Damani 02/22

So it was decided we would all celebrate once together on February 20th. The plan was for us to get together at a restaurant called Mama Mia Trattoria. We had two friends come down from Seattle (Nick & Charles). The guest included all the birthday boys, myself, the two from Seattle, Brad, Mark, & Justin.

We had a great time enjoying each others company. We had some good laughs and some good food. For dinner I ordered Veal Parmigiana. It came with a side of pasta that I orderded with maranara sauce. I also had a glass of white wine.

They gave us 2 pretty big slices of cheese cake to share amongst all the birthdays, but we also decided to order dessert. There was nothing that really enticed me on the dessert menu, so I settled for a Hot Buttered Rum. Some had desserts, others just decided to have a dessert cocktail like myself.

Our plan for the evening was to go from bar to bar and cause some havoc everywhere went. Because it was still early, we settled on a lounge called Invasion. Invasion is a lounge that has two levels that has a retro feel to it. It's decorated with 70's & 80's style furniture and decor.

When we first arrived, we were pretty chill. We were full from dinner so we just kind of sat around talking and sipped on our first drink. We decided to go upstairs away from the traffic and the crowd, but then the strippers started and some of the crew wanted to move downstairs so they didn't have to walk so far to see them.

There were people who were invited to the dinner, but for various reasons weren't able to attend, but the party grew larger as the night went on at Invasion. We were soon joined by Robb, Chris, Aundre, Ricky, Jeff, Anthony, Maurice, Trey, and a few others whose names I don't know.

Remember me saying the intent of the evening was to go bar hopping? Yea, it didn't go down that way. We ended up staying at Invasion until the night ended.

After the bar closed, a handful of us went back to Chris & Richard's place and watched this crazy ass movie. Can't remember the name of it, but when I do, I'll tell you guys all about it.

To all my friends with birthdays in February

Happy Birthday!

Advice Wanted

2010-02-19T21:18:00.001-08:00

Dear Fellow Bloggers:

I have a situation on my hands, I'm not quite sure how to go about handling, so I'm venturing out and asking the advice of you all.

I keep my circle of friends close and intimate. With my circle of friends being a close one, there really isn't anything that is off limits for us to talk about.

With that being said, I recently have caught a friend of mine not telling me the truth about things, and it's really starting to annoy me.

The things he isn't being truthful about are small things. Nothing major, and that's the reason why it's bugging me so much. I'd like to think he wouldn't lie to me about major things, but I've been second guessing myself on that as well because if he'll lie about small stuff, why not the big things?

In my friends defense, admittingly, I ask a lot of questions. Maybe it's me being nosy, but I like to think I'm asking questions to get a full understanding of the topic of discussion.

Proverbs 4:7 reads:

"wisdom is the principle thing;

therefore get wisdom and with all thy getting,

get understanding".

I don't want to lose this person as a friend because he is a truly great person that has a big heart, but I don't want to continiously doubt what he tells me. What advice to you guys have for me if any?

Broken Hearted

2010-02-15T20:11:00.001-08:00

Just when I thought my heart was mending . . . . . . . .

Ouch!!

2010-01-22T09:07:00.000-08:00

Just my freakin' luck! As you may or may not know, I am an adult with braces. I have been suffering from a toothache for the past 3 or 4 days. I've been taking all kinds of Tylenol, Aleve, Advil, Ibuprofen. Well this morning I wake up and the ENTIRE left side of my face is swollen. Swollen to the point where I can't even see out of my left eye. How crazy is that. You can only imagine how crazy I look right now. If I had to describe myelf, I look like the elephant man.

I know I have a toothache, so I call and make an emergency appointment with my dentist to have this taken care of. UGH! It's Friday. If my face isn't fixed I will not e leaving this the house this weekend. NO SIR! LOL

And just think, my friends have already started asking me to do things with them, I have a cousin in from out of town who is here who I got to see once, but he leaves in the morning, so I'd like to see him again. Ugh! FML

So Hard to Say Good-bye

2010-01-07T16:45:00.001-08:00

Anthony DeWayne was born on October 08, 1990. I'll never forget that day. I was at school and I was called to the office on emergency. Once I got to the office, I was told that his mother was in labor. I was just a senior, so I left the school and headed to the hospital (on public transportation). I remember how excited I was.

By the time I got to the hospital, he had just gotten pushed out, so I missed everything (sad face). That day changed my life forever.

As life would have it, he came to live with me full time when he was 8 years old. Honestly, that took a lot of adjustment for me because I was used to living life as I saw fit, but when he moved in for good, a lot of my extra's had to come to a complete halt.

Here we are 11 years later, on January 7, 2010 my oldest son Anthony left for Ft. Benning (in Georgia) for boot camp. He decided to join the United States Army.

He actually joined quite a while ago (before he graduated), so I was supposed to be preparing myself mentally, and in my head I thought I had, but as I stood at the airport giving my last hugs, I felt a part of me leaving.

Now don't get me wrong, I know he hasn't died, and he's really just a flight away, but I have had sole custody of him since he was 8 years old, and before then his mother and I lived together off and on. When it came to the "off" times, I still saw him everyday.

As we grew together, of course he began to hang out with his friends more and I wasn't the "cool" dad I once was but we still always had that connection/bond.

Now that he's away at boot camp, I will worry about him, I'm a dad would you expect any less.

If you have ever had the chance to witness us together, you would know that we were quite the team. Now, we'll just have to work our magic from one side of the country to the other. Look out world!

Mexico in Pictures

2009-12-26T20:43:00.001-08:00

Some of the sights:

Some of the men:

More Sights:

Poolside:

At the beach:

Just Posing:

Day 5 of my Mexico trip (The Homecoming)

2009-12-19T21:29:00.001-08:00

It's December 1st and it's now time to return back to cold (and probably rainy) Portland, Oregon.

Our flight didn't leave until mid-day so we had time to get up and grab some breakfast and do som last minute shopping, but of course 1st things 1st. FOOD

We went to a spot called Vitea. This place was right on the pier where we could eat and people watch. The food was pretty good too.

After breakfast we walked around and did some last minute shopping. We hit up up Hard Rock Cafe and a few other shops and grabbed some things for people we may have forgotten while we were there.

We took a few more pictures before we headed back to the hotel to get to the airport and head home.

Because we have to get to the airport so dang early we have time to waste:

You have to watch this video. This was HILARIOUS to me. After a little more of this, I decided I wanted to walk around the airport. Chris & Richard decided to walk around with me. Needless to say we found some photo opportunites:

We board the plane, have a lay over in Phoenix Arizona, and then we're home.

Day 4 of my Mexico Trip

2009-12-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

So we thought we would be adventurous and take the bus (again). This time we decided to go to a little town called Bucerias. As you can see by the expression on our faces (except for Richard), we weren't to pleased about letting another bus driver have our lives in the palms of their hands again.

This seemed like it was such a long ass bus ride. I remember asking if we were taking the bus back to Oregon. LOL! We crossed a few cities, saw people come and go. I remember this really young kid sitting next to me and I thought "this little kid is riding the bus alone". I saw a couple other young kids get on the bus by themselves, so I guess it's no biggie.

We reach Bucerias and it seems like we get off the bus in the middle of no where. There's this walking over pass that we have to cross so we climb the stairs, walk across, go back down the stairs, walk a few blocks and we ended up in a shopping zone. Blocks and blocks of different stands and coves of people selling items from T-shirts, hats, poncho's, shot glasses, so on and so forth. It was actually pretty cool. The people in Bucerias weren't as direct and pushy as the people in Puerto Vallarta, so we were able to actually shop and look without having everything shoved in our faces.

We pretty much just walked and looked around at the different things being offered. We walked the "strip" of restaurants because we had gotten hungry and decided to grab a bite to eat. We settled on a place called Mr. Marcos.

I think we actually met the owner of the restaurant Mr. Marco himself. He served us. He was a pretty cool dude.

We ordered drinks (mango margarita's). When they came we weren't really pleased with them, but of course that didn't stop us from down them. Our second round we opted for strawberry margarita's. Those were much better.

I think Chris ordered steak, Richard had coconut shrip, and I had garlic shrimp. Over all lunch was cool.

During the course of lunch, we were all very social with Mr. Marcos, so before we left he wanted to give us some type of Tequila shot on the house, so of course we couldn't turn that down.

He goes inside to get the shot and comes back and Richard was the the first to take the drink. Richard reaches for the glass the Mr. Marcos is like no, I do it. He shoved the drink down Richard's throat, but a towel over his head, shakes him up and sends him on his way. I'm next, Same thing then Chris:

We walked around for quite a bit after this and just took a bunch of pictures. We then got back on the bus and headed to Walmart to buy some liquor to bring home for myself and friends.

Day 3 of my Mexico trip

2009-12-07T19:40:00.000-08:00

We got up a little early to have breakfast and to see Justin off. He had to get back to D.C. and to work. We had breakfast at The Pancake House. The food and the service wasn’t all that great. That’s a place won’t be visiting any time soon.

After Justin left, we caught a bus to the mall (Galerias Vallarta). The drivers in Mexico are all nuts!! The bus we were on was flying down the street. Hit a sharp right turn, and the bus starts to fishtail. I’m like WTF! On the bus being fearful for our lives

We make it to the mall and we're walking around popping in and out of stores. There wasn’t anything in particular that caught my eye, so I didn’t buy anything. Richard didn’t buy anything either, but Chris picked up a few shirts.

Walmart is right next door to the mall, so we swung by there to buy some alcohol. I got some fancy brandy for my BFF, and I also bought a bottle “Rock Star” Absolut Vodka for myself.

Absolut Rock Star

After the bus ride back to the hotel, we change clothes and head to MargartiaGrill for dinner:

After we had dinner, can you guess what we did?

a) Hit the bars
b) Had more drinks
c) Chilled at hotel

If you guessed C you would be correct. The initial plan was to go back to the room and change clothes and get out and neither of us found motivation to get up dressed and out.

Day 2 of my Mexico Trip

2009-12-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

As we walked around last night, we stopped into a tourist spot. They offered all types of things so the guy asked what type of things were we interested in doing. He asked if we wanted ground, air, or water. I opened my big mouth and said AIR! The gang went for it and so we purchased some tickets to Canopy El Eden. They brag and boast about how this place was the set for the movie "Predato r". Everything was Predator this, or Predator that.

We didn't really know what to expect but we were all gung ho and excited about it.

Once we arrive and get all of our safety gear on, the tour guides go through all the rules and regulations. They joked and made everyone feel comfortable. We had a blast. Little did we know weould be getting our stair stepper on! Because all the cords are high up in the air, we had to get up to them some how or another, right? Geez! Good times though.

Of course because we were flying through the air, we weren't allowed to take cameras or anything else with us, so we only have the pictures they provide you. They did film it so we have a DVD souvenir too!

Myself

Justin

Chris

.

Richard

Once the tour was was over, we were hungry so we had lunch at the resturant called El Eden Restaurant Bar there on the Mismaloya River. They had menu items that could be shared by two so we ordered two of their Surf & Turfs to be shared amongst the four of us. It had Lobster, Chicken, Steak Kabobs, Salmon, and BBQ Ribs. Over all the food was good. I personally am not one for eating outside, but one thing I've noticed about being here, is EVERYTHING is outside. We were out in the winderness so bugs were all over the place which made my lunch unenjoyable, but over all . . . . . good times.

After we finished up lunch, we loaded back on the bus. As a part of the tour, it took us Tequila tasting. I have to admit I learned something on this trip about Tequila. Patron is an American liquor and the Mexicans cannot stand it. It's rare that you will even find any at the bars or stores. They it's artificial and we (Americans) do not make it right. The brand that is most popular over is Don Crispin (if you get a chance, bet some. It's really good and smooth). The Tequila guide also taught us how to take Tequila shots. You are supposed to breathe in through your nose, let it out through your mouth and drink, then breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. You won't require a lime chaser or salt.

As you can imagine, the days events took a toll on us, but there's no rest for the weary when you are on vacation, right? Right! We got back to the hotel and we must have sat down for about 30 minutes, then guess what . . . .BEACH TIME!! Yessir. We staying literally a few blocks from the beach so walking there and back was nothing.

There is a bar on the beach called Ritmos. Of course it's outside and they have all the chairs and music. in order to get a chair, you have to have a band placed on your wrist. This also allows you to use their restroom. We spent a few hours at the beach just clowning around and having a good time. The only real swimmer amongst us was Justin, so he spent way more time in the water than any of the rest of us, but we all spent a good time in the water.

After leaving the beach it was time to eat again. We went to a restaurant called Steak House Brasil. This was an intersting place. You sit down and they take your drink order and bring you a cupole side dishes, and then the meat begins. They bring you meat after meat. The meats I can remember are: Sausage (more like a hot link), Chicken, Flank Stea, Filet Mignon, Ribs, NY Steak, Prime Ribe and probably a few others I can't remember.

I bet you can guess what we did after dinner. I'll give you a clue:

Went Clubing
Went to a bar
Had more drinks
All the above

If you guess 4, you are absolutely correct!! We hit up the place called Manana. This night Crystal Waters was to be there performing, and I used to love me some Crystal Waters back in her hay day, so I was all excited to be seeing her. Manana charged 350 Pesos to get in (this will be significant later). We stgayed here until about 3 something in the morning. I had a really good time there.

Day 1 of my Mexico trip

2009-12-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

I wake up at 3am and get dressed. I had the hardest time sleeping the prior night. Oddly I don't think i was anxous about my trip or anything, I just couldn't make myself go to sleep at the time I needed to.
.
I get up and throw on some shorts and a T-shirt (Where I'm going, it's going to be 90 degrees). I figured since I'll be in the airport and on a plane I should be cool. I was so damn cold all the way here!! I didn't finally warm up until I left the Puerto Vallarta International airport!

The trip here was pretty uneventful. I left PDX and flew into DWF. I was at DWF for about an hour and half. Boarded the plane there and a couple of hours later, here I was in Sunny Puerto Vallarta. Yay me!
.
After going through customes, I hop a van and head to my hotel. The hotel has a great view. It's called La Siesta Suites. It's located downtown Puerto Vallerta.
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My good buddy Richard was waiting for me in the lobby so he was the first familiar face I saw. Oh, did I forget to mention that Richard, Chris and Justin came ahead of me? They left on Monday and I didn't leave home until the following Friday. After I get in the room and drop my bags, we head out!

This is the view from the hotel

My first outing in Mexico

The room is blocks away from the pier which is called malecon. It was really beautiful tehre. The water was so nice! We walked the entire pier and then we decided to do some windo shopping. We then took a stroll down Olas Altas & Ampas.
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We decided to grab some grub ass Gelato from Pianeta Gelato. I had to scoops, 1 of banana split and the other was Dulce Chop.
.

After walking around a bunch more, we decided to get some dinner. There is a restaurant at the top of the La Siesta and had dinner at El Panorama.

Richard, Chris and I all had a drink called Sexxxi Coffee (yes, three x's) Ummm hmmm! That drink was something nice! So nice, I dediced to have second one for dessert.

For dinner I had Shrimp El Panorama. they fixed this dish table side. I have to admit it was awesome! So good!

Us at dinner

Right now everyone is laying around resting because they ahd a pretty action packed day before I got here, unlike myself. All I did was sit around at airports or on planes. The plan is for us to go to a few different clubs: Antropology, La Noche, Paco's Ranch and the Zoo

Real Quick

2009-11-30T07:42:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know, on Black Friday while the rest of the world was out picking up items for themselves or others at dirt cheap prices, I was on a plane coming to Puerto Vallerta, Mexico (details to come).

I just want to point out a couple of things that's happened so far. Being African American is a wonderful thing:

Scenario 1:

My friends and I are walking the water front (all of whom are African American). There are all types of vendors and peddlers trying to earn an honest keep. As we walk the pier, there is a sketch artist who notices us, and I notice him. Soon as he sees us, he frantically thumbs through his sketch book, and as soon as we near him, he shows us a picture he had drawn of an African Amerian man (who just happened to be Chris Rock).

Scenario 2:

We just finish a great time at the beach. We're swimming (well at least one of us was) and playing around in the water, just having a good ole time. We were there for hours. We're kind of worn out, and tired, but we have to truck back to the hotel walking the water front again. I ironically have on swim trunks with a United States Flag on them. Now get this, four guys walking and minding our own business. One of the "vendors" yells out to us "Obama Family". Needless to say the Obama family only has one male in it, so we start joking and laughing claiming Barack!

Scenario3:

These "sales people" are very forward with their sales approach. You can just walk down the street and you have so many people whistle at you, or call out to you "hey amigo" or various other friendly terms to get your attention so they put their sales approach all in your face. A lot of times we just say "no gracias" and keep moving. One day while all of this is going on, out of the blue we here "Hey Tyrone!". We look at each other and we just bust out laughing. Really? Tyrone?? That's the best you could come up with? Not to mention we all have names that would fit pretty much any ethnicity. You just have to wonder how he would association the name Tyrone with African Americans!!

Last but not least:

This one action is not tied to our ethnicity, but I have never been offered so many "massages" or chicas, weed, pipes, "cigars" Tequila, pussy (yes pussy) in my life. It's all so comedic, but I guess we all have to do what it takes to survive, right?

This Sucks

2009-11-11T09:42:00.000-08:00

Getting old is not all that! Don't get me wrong, I'm blessed and happy and all that good stuff to still be alive, but all that comes with it . . . . .

When I was younger, I was all about my hair. I used to do some of everything. I used to rock braids, I had a perm (yes a perm), long, short, dreds, just about everything.

I donned dred locks for about 8 years. Then I began to notice they were thinner then they were when I started out. Yes, my hair has started thinning.

They say men lose their hair according to their mothers side of the family. Well I never knew or met my mothers father, so I don't know what his head looked like, but if my dad did shave his head, he'd have a George Jefferson going on. I'm predicting that's my future.

I wore a size 28 - 30 for ever! I mean for the longest time. When I wore a size 28 I had to make myself gain weight to be a size 30. Now that I'm 36, I can't see being a size 30 anywhere in my future. LOL!

With that being said, I went to the doctor last week and she told me I have borderline high blood pressure. The doctor advised me if I change my eating habits and lost some weight, it would keep me off medication.

Now here's the deal,

I know I've put some weight on. I know I can stand to lose some, but as soon as I was told to lose weight, I was offended. LOL!

So here's my game plan . . . . .

I started hitting the gym on this past Monday. I'm gonna start out easy and just do some Cardio.

I used to be quite the gym rat, and I worked out at least 4 times a day. Then life happened, and I stopped going all together. Then I started back again about a year ago. It's so easy to get out of the routine if you don't stick to it. I missed going one day, and months later, I'm being told I'm fat.

I'm going to to try to chronologic my weight loss journey, not only for you, but for myself. I want to keep record, so what better place other than my blog.

Wish me luck!

Halloween Weekend

2009-11-02T08:58:00.000-08:00

My Halloween weekend began on Thursday night at this club called CC's Slaughters with some of my boys Chris, David and Maurice & Richard (I mentioned Richard in a previous post).

We had a really good time! There has been times when we're up in the club and all the old white DRUNK men be in there trying to hit on the brotha's but this particular night, they all steered clear (Thank you).

As I do, I danced and sweat my shirt out. After the night was over, one of my friends had a little too much to drink. He was a responsible drunk and gave his keys up. So Maurice and I made sure he got home safe and secure, got back to my car, and then got home.

My Friday was a pretty laid back day. I knew there was a party being held at my house on Saturday night, so my plan was to get up and do some cleaning. Well yea, after getting home at 3 am in the morning, the last thing I wanted to do was clean! Not to mention I started feeling a little under the weather because one of my sons had been home from school all week from being sick, si think I caught what he had.

Friday night came and Trey, Maurice, Chris, Richard and David and myself dedcided to go out again. This time we went to Redcap Garage. We did NOT have fun. The music sucked ass. They are supposed to be playing Hip Hop/R&B, but I don't think anyone told the DJ. We requested some music, and the DJ said he didn't have any hip hop. HUH!? How do you go to a Hip Hop club and the DJ doesn't play the right music!??

We tried to make the best of it so we hung out as best we could, but something happened. Soon as we were ready to call it a night, it turned out I had to drive Trey and Maurice home because they had gotten drunk. The funny thing is, I never saw them drinking. I don't know how it happened, but oh well. So this time, Chris and I took them home. It was 3 am again by the time I got home. I have to admit, I have no problem at all making sure my friends are safe.

I'd rather have friends who get drunk and are responsible enough to know they are too drunk to drive, then to have to them die from driving drunk and or killing somone.

Dammit! I had to get up and clean because I hadn't and the party was fastly approaching. Luckily I'm naturally a clean person so it didn't really take that much. I was so tired! I would clean a room and sit or lay down for a hour. Clean some more and lay down. I finally got all the place together, then guess what I did? Yep, I took a NAP!

-
So Charles & Maurice were the hosts of the party (I just provided the spot). Maurice, Trey and Richard got here early to set up, cook and bullshit. You know how we do. We turned on the music and got busy!

So I helped with the set up, Maurice and Trey did all the cooking. Richard and I cleaned up behing the "chefs". Once all the food was done, it was time to get dressed and bust out our costumes.

I think we pretty much got done with the set up and getting dressed just in time because the guests started showing up. There were some great costumes. Check them out:

After all the fun of Halloween night, a friend friends stayed over night (one I didn't know) and we just pretty much chilled most of Sunday. After we got our wits about us, we decided to see a movie. This is It.

I sometimes forget how much of a fan I was of Michael Jackson. He really was an extraordinary talent. All the songs he planned to perform brought back memories of when those songs or CD's were released. It's been said over and over, but the music world will NOT be the same without him.

I really had a great weekend.

Thanks friends!

Friends

2009-10-24T22:19:00.001-07:00

Within our life and times, we will run across people who we call friends, or who we may consider associates or how about those we call acquaintances?
-
While hanging out recently, I had the pleasure of enlightening someone who is becoming a friend by the name of Dale.
-
Dale is new to the gay life (24 years old) and has had a hard time depicting his circle of friends. He said he has run into those who have just wanted to befriend him thinking they would get sex out of the acquaintanceship, or those who were fair weather friends (a friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these capricious, disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you).
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My only real advice to Dale was, just like outside the gay life, picking friends is really trial and error. The only thing you can do is get to know people and decide for yourself if this person can be considered a true friend or someone you just know and are friendly with. Yes readers, there is a difference.
-
After my conversation with dale, I had to self-reflect on the friendships I have had over the years and I realized that I am one lucky guy. I have truly had some great friendships through out my life.
-
Adrian:
I met this guy in 3rd grade, and he was in 4th. We lived next door to one another and went to the same school. Adrian came from a pretty big family and one of his older sisters would babysit my little sister. As I recall, I think I ended up moving away (but went to the same school), but because we weren't in as close proximity, we some what fell off as friends. He went to a different junior & high school, but in high school we were reconnected and to this day we are still very good friends! We don't talk very often, but when we do, it's like we just spoke the day before.

*I don't have any recent pictures of Adrian as he now lives in Las Vegas*

Marlon:
I believe I met Marlon when I was about 19 years old in a bar (which I had no business being in). We talked and had a good time. We would see one another out and about. We would dance and enjoy each others company and so we finally exchanged numbers and started hanging out. Here we are today 17 years later and we are thick as thieves. He is one of the coolest people I will ever know and someone I can truly depend on.

Richard:
Befriending Richard was a FLUKE! I knew who Richard was and he knew who I was, but outside of the occassional Hi, Hey, or Hello, we never spoke too much. He seemed like a cool dude, but we just never seemed to past the pleasantries. One fateful evening this past January I was invited to a happy hour where Richard was, and we clicked like nobody's business. I don't believe there has been a day since then we have not at least had a phone conversation. He is one laid back guy with a huge heart.

These three guys are my backbone. The people who are closest to me (in order of when we met). I love these guys like they are my own true family. There isn't a whole lot I wouldn't do for any of them.

I told Dale that he too will begin to form these types of bonds. I advised him not to rush or force things becuase it'll happen in time. Before he knows it, time will have gone by and he'll look back and realize he too has at least one friend who he can depend on and who can depend on him.

To Richard, Marlon and Adrian: You guys are my friends. My TRUE friends, and for that I thank each and every one of you personally for putting up with over the years (months for Richard) you've known me.

Friends - Whodini

AIDS Walk 2009

2009-10-11T19:39:00.001-07:00

Today I had a great day hanging out with my two bestfriends participating is something that holds true and dear to my heart. AIDS Walk 2009.

I may, or may not have mentioned that over the years, I have had or heard of acquaintances that have been infected with HIV and or have passed away from AIDS. It wasn't until it hit home that I began to take a stand on fighting and attempting to raise awareness of this dreadful disease.

I think we all can remember our firsts: our first crush, our first kiss, our first relationship, the first time we made love (or had sex). Well my first serious relationship with another male was with a guy named Dean.

He and I had what I believed to be a strong friendship that later turned into a relationship that lasted a short 3 years. After the relationship ended, we remained friends and were able to share our thoughts with one another about the ongoings of our lives.

After our break up, Dean left the city we lived in and moved around quite a bit. There were times when he would call and tell me about this tryst or that rendevous. I would always listen as he would spill the "T" but once it was all done and said, I would always advise that he be careful. Careful to not find himself in situations that he couldn't get out of and be careful and always use protection.

As circumstance would have it, he contracted HIV and lived with it over the years and was none the wiser. He did not find out he was HIV+ until one day he was in the mall and collapsed. It was a brief 3 or 4 months after that fateful day in the mall that he found himself in the hospital with pneumonia and passed away.

Since then I have first cousin contract HIV and another cousin pass away with complications from AIDS.

Every year I do what I can to raise money and participate in the AIDS walk to show my support to those living with or those who have died from HIV and/or AIDS.

Sex? No Thank You

2009-10-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

In a recent conversation with a good friend, I recently discovered I'm somewhat unable to live in the moment when it comes to relationships and dating.

I spoke about how I tend to fall for people fast and hard. Now don't get me wrong, I don't like just anybody so if they get my attention and are able to maintain it then they will have a keeper on their hands.

So with that being said, I mentioned how I don't like to have sex just for the "fuck" of it. What I mean by that is, if I am going to have sex with someone it's going to be more than just SEX. I want to have some type of emotional bond or connection. I'm not nor have I ever been into one night stands, so that isn't an issue.

I was in a relationship that ended this past June but I haven't had sexual intercourse since March. Since the break up, I have been waiting to realize I'm the one for them. It has all but consumed me. In all my relationships this was the shortest at less than 1 year, but I digress. This isn't what this blog is about.

If I am going to be with someone intimately what I desire is to have some type of emotional connection. I'm really trying not to use the terms "making love or make love" because I can have sexual intercourse without being in love, but I must have some other feelilng besides lust.

Could it be that I am abnormal? Abnormal, especially in the same gender loving community? One of the sterotypes that we live with is the fact that we are out to have as much sex with as many people as we possibly can. Is this factual?

Whereas I desire to be intimate with someone, whereas I do desire a relationship, I don't think I'm willing to trade my moral values or my own personal beliefs for a moment of pleasure.

Love Alone

2009-09-30T02:49:00.000-07:00

No one would love me

if they knew all the things I hide

My words fall to the floor

As tears drip through the telephone line

And the hands I’ve seen raised to the sky

Not waving but drowning all this time

I'll try to build the ark that I need

To float to you upon the crystal sea

And everyone cries for the innocent

You say to love the guilty too

And I'm surrounded by suffering and sickness

So I'm working

And the pain of the world is a burden

And I feel it's my cross to bear

As I stumble under all the weight I know you're

standing there.

Give me your hand to hold

Cause I can't stand to love alone

And love alone is not enough to hold us up

Push a novel by Sapphire

2009-09-28T17:28:00.001-07:00

This is a novel about a young girl name Claireece Precious Jones written by an author named Sapphire and is being produced by Oprah Winfrey & Tyler Perry.

This book was orignally released in 1996, but has recently come to the forefront.

For those of you plan on reading the book or seeing the movie, I will not give too much away, but I will so I highly recommend this book to anyone who has every struggled through anything.

I like to think I had a pretty sheltered childhood and in my life travels that has become more and more clear.

In reading the way the girl was brought up from birth until current day just hurts my heart. As a parent, I couldn't possibly see how something of this nature could go on right under my nose.

I'm really excited to see this book made into a motion picture. There is all kind of Oscar buzz about this movie. I hope the academy doesn't burn us (African American's) as they have so many times before.

Thanks for taking the time to read this little post of mine. If I were to grade this book, it would get a solid A from me. If there are any other people who have read this book, I'd like to know your thoughts on it.

Knowles Teaching??

2009-08-21T12:30:00.001-07:00

Media mogul Mathew Knowles will be teaching a course on the campus of Texas Southern University this fall.

Knowles, the president and CEO of Music World Entertainment, is best known as the father of Beyoncé and Solange.

Knowles will teach an undergraduate level course this fall entitled "The Entertainment Industry" through the TSU School of Communication.

Knowles has garnered many awards for his achievements in business and the music industry and was named the "2007 International Executive of the Year" by the Greater Houston Partnership. He received an Honorary Doctorate from his alma mater, Fisk University, and is on the Board of Governors for the Recording Academy of Texas.

Knowles graduated from Fisk University in 1974 with dual degrees—a BA in Economics and a BS in Business Administration.

He once taught a course at Fisk.

"Students who take Mr. Knowles’ class will truly benefit from the many relationships forged with the School of Communication," said Dr. James Ward, dean, TSU School of Communication. "Our goal is to provide these students with such a well-rounded experience that they will graduate on the cutting edge of the entertainment and recording industry."

Canadian Visit Day 2

2009-08-16T15:46:00.001-07:00

My 2nd day in Vancouver B.C. basically consisted of a lot of shopping! But of course we couldn't start our day without 1st stopping at Blenz (which would be considered Starbucks here in the states).

Before we hit the shopping trail, needless to say we did some things on foot walking down Robson street and did some sight seeing and took some pictures.

We walked to the waterfront and deceided to take some pictures. Here's the funny thing. . . . my friend Chris says, hey you guys (me & Richard), go stand over there and let's get a picture with the city behind you. So look at our picture below, and look at the picture of Chris & Richard above. Who has the city as a backdrop??We then hoofed it over to Gastown. Gastown would be considered their old town. There are lots of little shops and tons of tourist.

One of our first stops was to stop and take a peek at The Gastown Steam C lock.

As the picture states, it's the worlds 1st steam powered clock. Every 15 minutes the clock will sound the Westminster Chimes. We were around this clock for so long, I don't think I actually heard them myself. I could have possibly just missed it because I was being such a tourist being in and out of all the shops looking for nothing in particular and buying NOTHING. LOL

After walking around bouncing in and out of shops we decided to hit the Mall (Metropolis at Metrotown). This mall was huge. It had all the stores I knew and of course there was stores that I didn't know. In order for us to get to the mall, we had to take the Sky Train.

Funny story:
We board the Sky Train and get all settled in. The train takes off and we're on our way (so we think). So here I go, I decide to pull the camera out for some light "chat" when all of a sudden the train starts going the opposite direction. We got a little nervous and everything came to an hault. You have to look at the faces of Chris and Richard and notice how the footage came to an aburpt halt.

The mall we went to is the 2nd largest in Canada. There are over 470 shops. We went in about 3/4th of them. Needless to say that took HOURS!

After we left the mall, we headed back to hotel room to prepare for the nights events of fireworks. I think once we got back to the hotel we were tried, so we had some cocktails and some:

and a little rest and relaxation.

Once we chilled out for a little bit we then went to a fireworks show:

Once the fireworks show was over, we were hungry and decided to go to Red Robin (yea, I know we have RR here, but hey!). We had kinda been going and going with two days of walking so we decided not to go out to the club, but instead we stayed in the hotel room a bugged out. It was fun.

And that, ladies and gentlemen was

Day 2 in British Columbia

David Daniel Otunga, Jr.

2009-08-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

It’s a boy for singer and actress Jennifer Hudson. A boy named David Daniel Otunga Jr. after his father, a lawyer known to the public as former “I love New York” star "Punk" .

David Jr. weighing in at 7 pounds 14 ounces was born in a wake of tragedy for the “Dreamgirls” Oscar-winning star. Hudson, 27, lost her mother, brother, and nephew in a brutal murder in Chicago in October, believed to be executed by the estranged husband of her sister, William Balfour.

The child was conceived shortly after the tragedy and was kept mum. Hudson literally did not tell anyone. She sported around her big belly while pregnant and weight gain rumors flied.

Funky Diva's {Live}

2009-08-08T11:47:00.001-07:00

Last night I went to the Casino and saw my favorite girl group. I've posted many blogs about them and how I love them so.

They started singing a capella before they even hit the stage. I was soooo geeked!! I felt like a little kid. Then they came out and took the stage. They all look good.

Maxine

Ms. Jones has been known to put on and take off a little weight looked good. She's been rocking braids for a while. Maybe that's become her signature look? I don't know, but she sounded good.

Dawn

Ms. Robinson who is my favorite member of the group came out looking like she was 22. She STILL has it going on. We all know her troubles from when she left the group then go on with Lucy Pearl and a failed attempt at a solo record, but I'm glad she's back!!

Cindy

Ms. Herron was thought to be the break out member still looked good. She sang well. I have to say she is my least favorite of the girl group because some time she sounds a bit nasely but when she let's it go, she let's it GO! She was singing like nobody's business.

Terry

Ms. Ellis was ENJOYING the show. Out of all the girls, it seemed like she was the most enthusiastic performer. She was hitting all the steps and the moves. She made me smile a few times just because you could tell she is the performer.

Canada, eh!

2009-08-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

The plan was for us to leave at 8:00 in the morning. I drive over to my friends’ house. I got there at 7:59, great timing cause we’re leaving at 8:00, right? So I thought! As it turns out, when I get there, Richard was in the shower and Chris was still running around doing his last minute things. It was a little after 10 am when we finally hit the road!! YAY! When I tell you, I’m so excited about this trip.

We decided to go out the night before and partied like it was 1999. Chris (the driver) was leary about going out because he didn’t want to be tired on the drive, but there I go “Oh we’ll all be up laughing and talking and being all excited, there won’t be time to be tired”. Man my ass was sleep about 15 minutes into the drive. I mean snoring and all! KNOCKED out like Debo had socked me.

I was groggy when we hit the Canadian border, but I woke up just in time. Because I had never been to Canada this was somewhat exciting. We get to customs, and we pass the woman in her little booth our passports and here I am thinking some life changing experience is going to happen. She asks us a few questions, hands our passports back and says “Have a safe trip” What the heck! What a let down. But we’ve crossed the border and I’m on my first trip to Canada.

We go and exchange our money, and stretch our legs from the 5 plus hour drive to the border. Richard is such a tour guide he’s all showing me the different things and telling me different things I can do. Mind you, we’re less than a mile over into the border.

We get back in the car to finish the drive to Vancouver B.C. Guess what happens?? I fall back a sleep. To me it’s funny that I’m so damn sleepy, but I’m sure Chris wasn’t too happy because I was supposed to help with the drive.

I wake up and we’re just about to our destination Century Plaza Hotel & Sp a. We unload our bags from the truck and head up to our room on the 21st floor, room 2109. We drop our things and within 15-20 mintues, we off!! We’re hitting the town on foot (make note, we’re walking).

1st stop: The corner store. Man, I was having the worst sinus headache. 2nd stop English Bay Beach. We’re walking down Davies street and we check out some shops, but we don’t stop. We’re somewhat on a mission to get to the beach.

We get to the beach, and Richard being the tour guide he is, tells me about this and that and the different things he came across on his different trips here. We all stop and just take a look around, pose for a few pictures, talk a little bit more, and then we walk the beach.

We encountered several different people for various walks of life. It was nice. Nothing in particular stood out, I’m sure you know all the distictive people you can run into on a public beach. We pose for a few more pictures. We laugh we talk. We’re truly having a good time.

The time came we decided to leave the beach. It’s really hot outside and I believe Richard loves ice cream as much as I do (see previous post), so he suggested we grab some. We leave the beach and we go to Mar ble Slab Creamery.

We walked and walked and walked around some more sight seeing. We went all around town on foot. Walking walking and walking! LOL! We walked around for about 6 hours.

Then after we did all the walking and sight seeing, we go back tot he hotel and chill out for a little bit and change for the bar. We end up at the Odyssey Night Club. The line was ridicuously long. So damn long I was almost falling asleep waiting. UGH! I hate lines.
We finally get in and the music was cool, the atmophere was alright, so over all we had a decent time.

And this was just day ONE!

Dear John

2009-08-02T03:56:00.000-07:00

I have told my heart you love me. My heart tells me I love you. Actions speak louder than words.

Yea, I know we broke up. Yea, I know you are the one that dumped me. I also know you are the one that has told me repeatedly that I will always be a part of your life. You would never disrespect me. You would never hurt me. You will always love me. Just how true are these words?

Were you just blowing smoke up my ass? I'm so hurt right now as I cry and write this letter to you. In all honesty, you more than likely won't even read it.

When you don't hear from me, will you miss me? Hell, will you even notice?

Thanks #twitterafterdark

I now know you for the man you actually are. Thanks for showing your true colors. My heart is truly shattered and broken. I had so much faith and belief in you. Silly me. I guess egg is on my face.

Ben AND Jerry?

2009-07-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

In the past few days Portland, OR has had temperatures in the 100's. Yes, we're talking 110, 105, 107, stuff like that.

Well a few weeks back, Ben & Jerry's had a promotion for a new product of their so they decided to give away free ice cream in "Portland's Living Room".

Free ICE CREAM?? Yea, I'm there! Count me in.

So my buddy is the one who told me all about it, but I was the one ALL about it. I think he was just like "whatever". So I call him up, and we get together and we head towards the crowd (well it wasn't really that crowded), but we get there and I look around and think to myself "Everyone is eating the chocolate kind". Well, anyone that knows me, knows I do not like chocolate, so in my head, I'm like, oh, I'll get a different kind.

Well, Ben & Jerry's was promoting their new product called "Flipped Out" which is Fudge, vanilla ice cream and a brownie. Yummm !!!! (NOT!). But do you think I let that stop me (see picture above).

So my buddy and I sat and ate ice cream and had some good laughs. What's better than a good friend, good times and good ice cream. Now my thing is. . . when Ben & Jerry's did their promotion, the weather was beautiful, maybe mid to upper 70's. Now that it's in the triple digits, where is the free ice cream? Hell, I'll take some free ICE! LOL!!!

Thanks Ben & Jerry's!!

Drunk Calls

2009-07-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

This past Friday I made a drunk call to someone who I love very dearly. I checked my call log and noticed the call lasted an entire minute and 27 seconds.

What I could have possibly said or done in such a brief period of time is beyond me, but apparently it's affected this person, and for this I am truly and sincerely apologetic.

I realize being drunk is no excuse to, but I truly have no idea what I said, and now this person will not answer my calls or text messages. I do recollect making the call, and I remember being hung up on, and that is the extent of my memory of the entire situation.

Most times I really have thick skin and I don't let things bother me or I easily brush them off, but when I know I have hurt someone who I love with all my heart, I hurt. I don't know if you will read this, but if you do, please forgive me and my stupid actions of that night.

If my apology is accepted, please call or text me. I would like to man up and be accountable about my poor conduct. If you are not willing to accept my apology, then I guess I have no choice but to walk away. If I don't hear something from you, then I will assume my apology is not accepted, and I will respect you by not reaching out and contacting you anymore.

Being honest, this is really messing me up, so much so, I thinking I'm not going to drink anymore. It's a little scary doing things and having no memory of them.

No matter the outcome, I love you.

Really?

2009-07-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

I saw this I laughed so damn hard I just about pissed on myself

When does it get to this point?

June 20, 2009

2009-07-11T08:07:00.001-07:00

Not sure who knows, or who even cares, but I had a birthday a few weeks back. Here are some pictures from my birthday celebration I had with some of my closest friends: Here is:

Robb, Marlon, Richard, Chris, & Jovonn

Leaving Claim Jumper

Trey, Maurice Chris, Jovonn & Myself

Here are two of the people that are closest to me.

Marlon & Richard

The birthday guy
Here's the birthday cupcake

Red Velvet. Yummers!!

*Click on the thumbnail to enlarge the picture*

Happy Hour

2009-07-09T07:52:00.001-07:00

I guess if you're going to do it, do it big!

Liberain Girl

2009-07-03T16:07:00.000-07:00

The

Michael J. Jackson

Liberian Girl

I never knew there was a video for this song!

The Return

2009-06-28T07:24:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. It's been a month of Sunday's since I last blogged. There has been so much going on in my life that I wanted to blog, but everytime I sat down at the computer, it was all too tough for me to write about. So I'm going to bypass all the hurt, sorrow and turmoil I've been going thru and focus on the positive.

My oldest graduated high school on June 12th 2009. That was really an exciting time for him and everytime you looked at him, you could just see the happiness in his eyes. It was also a pivitol moment in our lives as well. If some of you know, since turning 18, with graduation approaching, he was somewhat of a handful. Now things are smooth as silk.

On June 6th, my best friend and I took part in this walk through the city before one of our major parades. It was a lot of fun. We got there just in the nick of time. Eventhough we registered, we weren't able to get our bibs because we had gotten there just as the walk began, so we just fell in. I think he told me it was the first time he had done anything like that, but if you look back over my post, you'll see that I get into things like this.

This is a picture of him after the walk had ended. We were hungry, so yea, we walked from the stopping point right on back to the mall to get something to eat. Then we sat there for like an hour after we finished eating and "talked" (rested). HA HA!!

What I seem to have failed to mention, is the night before we had be up early for the walk, we were at combined bachelor/bachelorette party for some friends that are getting married next Friday (July 3rd). The ongoing joke was that we were going to be at the bar from 4:00 pm to close which is 2:30am.

So Besty and I were like, we ain't staying that damn long. HA! We ended up staying until like 10 or so. Needless to say we (I) was shitfaced by the time we got back home.

Here is the couple that is getting married

Not sure if any of you guys watched RuPaul's Drag Race or not, but I was able to see a couple of the contestants live.

Bebe Zahara Benet

I just wanna say, this is one of the most over female impersonators. She is so nice and down to Earth. After her show was over she was ready to kick it, so we showed her what Portland had to offer. It was really fun.

Ongina

Ongina was cool, but if you are a female impersonator, you need to keep up the impersonation! You not supposed to fall apart on stage. *sigh* I'm just sayin' it's bad enough you don't wear hair!

No Shade

(Well maybe a little, but I still like you)

Sunday Sound-Off

2009-05-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

Something on your mind??

You got something to say??

Some complaints, maybe?

It's time to Sound-Off!

Road Trip

2009-05-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Redsnake and I decided to hit the road! We left Portland, OR heading to Seattle, WA for a friend who made it home safely from Iraq. I sure wish this stupid war would end. Geez!

So the drive from here to there only takes about 3 hours at the most. We leave and we take off. Because the host of the party asked we bring a bottle, we stopped and picked up a bottle of Skyy Vodka. Then we hit the road.

The drive there was pretty uneventful until we got to where we thought we were going. Can I just say I L-O-V-E my GSP (almost as much as I love my man), but let's just say it's only as good as the information you enter into it. We kept driving by what we thought was supposed to be our destination. It kept saying "Your destination is to your left". We would look to the left and see nothing but shrubs and bushes. So we would turn around. The the chick would say "Your destination is to your right". We like WTF! So I'm like let me check the address again. Needless to say I entered the wrong address.

The party was supposed to start at 8, and we didn't even find our hotel until a little after 8. The hotel looked nothing how it did when we pulled it up on the internet, but it served the purpose.

We get in and kinda chill out for a minute. Change our clothes and head out We get to the party about 9. Now, it's at someones house we had never been to before, so you know you are a little nervous going into someone else's camp if you never been there before.

The music was blaring on the outside of the place so we're like "This must be it". We get up to the door. Knock. And the door opens. We're welcomed in. I handed over the bottle of booze and walk in the place.

The host says "Can you guys do me a favor and put these on". We turn around and he's handing us shower caps! You know the ones you used to have to rock back in the day because you didn't want your curl messing up your pillow case.

He says "can you slip these over your shoes". LMAO! We're respectful, so we put them on, and then we enter the place. We step into the living room and it appears that all the furniture has been moved out, so I'm like oh snap, it's gonna be one of THOSE kinda parties.

I look around for everyone, and I only see 1 other person there. Mind you . . . .We're already and hour late. The freakin' guest of honor isn't even there yet. The only people there are the residents. The host and his boyfriend.

Well SOMEONE has to be the first to arrive, right? So about an hour and half goes by, and theres a knock at the door. One other person shows up at this time. About 30 - 45 minutes after that, the guest of honor shows up. Ladies & Gentlemen . . . . . . .that was it. That was the "party". Can somone say -get together- That was far from a party.

It was nice to see the guest of honor.

I hadn't seen him in a few years.

We weren't at the party long. We ended up going to R Place. Sadly, everything in Seattle closes early so we got there about 1:15 and they closed at 1:45. The best fun we had of the night was outside after the bar closed. There were "it's" running around thinking they were hot, there were fights, police and arrest. Hopefully we can get Redsnake to blog about it.

We left there and the plan was to go back to the "party", but we decided it was late and was ready to get back to the room. We finally got back to the room about 3:30.

Sunday we did somethings before heading back into Portland. We were on Capitol Hill and did some shopping. There is a resturant called

Dick's Drive In

So I have to admit, they have some burgers & Shakes that are the business, but why did this lovely lady order FIVE cheese burgers. So Redsnake and I looked around to see who was with her, and she was all alone.

I bought some fire shades up on Capitol Hill
Now tell me those ain't hot!

While on Capitol Hill, I called a buddy of mine to come and hang out with us. He obliged until it was time to go pick up his dude.

Now. . . .on the way home, we look out the window to the left, and this is what we see:

Fear

2009-05-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

Think about it:

Fear means stress, and stress is linked to all the big, bad diseases.

But just even hearing that can stressed us out.

We take that stress to bed with us, hugging it to us like a stuffed animal.

It turns into anxiety and keeps us up awake in the wee hours.

Sleep deprivation? Oh no! That's also linked to illness.

We can't win! Or … can we?

Fear is part of being human. It has its place, like when a lion gets loose from its cage at the zoo (because, you know, that happens a lot) or when a bad driver is drifting into your lane on the freeway. Fear will help you in those situations. But much of the fear we feel--sometimes on a daily basis--is unfounded. It wastes our energy and actually harms us.

Try this: optimism. Instead of freaking out about how swine flu might be coming to a town near you, just stay calm and be positive. Yes, wash your hands, and yes, cover your mouth when you cough--all the things you do anyway. Breathe deep, remember that the odds are in your favor, and go to your happy place, which is also your healthy place.

To control the fear you can do the following:

1. Do whatever is needed to prepare yourself for your fear. Often preparing for something that is fearful will help you to gain control over it since you are ready and able to handle it better.

2. Is there a way to desensitize yourself to your fear? Will repetition of the event make the fear go away?

3. Teach yourself to enjoy the task if it's sensible to do so. This can be done through using an assortment of positive reinforcement techniques. Repeating to yourself that the task is good for you, or reinforcing for yourself the benefits that facing the fear will bring. (This and No 1 are good for public speaking.)

4. Train yourself to acknowledge the fear and accept it for what it is, simply your mind telling your body that something concerns it. Repeatedly telling yourself that you are no longer concerned about it and not to be afraid will help you to believe.

Always be kind to yourself. Fear happens to everyone and you can choose to work with it and nullify its effects rather than let it take control. Don't be frustrated with yourself if you don't see the effects immediately since it can take time to resolve.

Fear can be controlled. Remove it's power to affect you and you remove the fear itself. Having the self-confidence to be able to handle situations will help you with other events as well. You will build up an ability to cope that you didn't know you had.

Sunday Sound-Off

2009-05-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

It's that time again. We've reached the "Sunday Sound-Off" segment. This is an opportunity for you to get something off your chest. Say a few things about what's happened to you or ask some "why" questions.

1 .. .. .. 2 .. .. .. 3.. .. ..

Sound-Off

God In Me

2009-05-07T07:15:00.000-07:00

Lyrics | Mary Mary lyrics - God In Me lyrics

God In Me - Mary Mary

Important Words

2009-05-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

The 10 most important words:

I won't wait for others to take the first step.

The 9 most important words:

If it is to be, it's up to me.

The 8 most important words:

If not me, who? If not now, when?

The 7 most important words:

Let me take a shot at it.

The 6 most important words:

I will not pass the buck.

The 5 most important words:

You can count on me.

The 4 most important words:

It IS my job!

The 3 most important words:

Just do it!

The 2 most important words:

I will.

The most important word:

Me.

Friday Humor

2009-05-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Walmart Employee: 'What you want on de cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

STOP LAUGHING!

You can't fix stupid

Today's Horoscope

2009-04-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

Forget that whole 'keep your friends close, your enemies closer' baloney -- you're wasting time by giving energy to people who don't want the best for you right now. So ditch your enemies and devote your free time to getting closer to the people who make you smile and make you feel good about yourself. And given the fact that you should be sticking to a modest budget for the next few days, any type of get together needs to be humble and quiet. Conserve your money.

How timely!

Dueling

2009-04-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Compete
-Verb
· to strive to outdo another for acknowledgment, a prize, supremacy, profit, etc.; engage in a contest

Competition
· rivalry between two or more persons or groups for an object desired in common, usually resulting in a victor and a loser but not necessarily involving the destruction of the latter.

I believe it's in our natural make up that we are competitive. When we are born, we often times have to compete for the affections of our parents or other relatives.

When I was in high school, I played competitive sports such as basketball, Track & Field, even a little tennis.

As adults, once we get out into the work force, we compete for jobs by interviewing.

Personally, I compete with myself. I sometimes battle with making the right decision over the wrong decision (among other things).

Why is it so much easier to do what's wrong than it is to do what's right? Shouldn't we always want to do what's right?

Sure we struggle with day to day life. Would you agree that inanimate objects compete with one another as well? Need an example? Say you're getting dressed, and you wonder which shoe looks better with ya fit. You put them both on and then the competition begins.

In love we compete for the love, affection, and time of our signifigant other (believe it or not). We compete with the people who came before us. We battle within ourselves to spend time with the one we are cutivating a relationship with, or maintaining the bond that possibly took years to form with the people that came before him or her.

How do we find that happy medium? I'm sure you've heard the saying "you can't please all the people all of the time". How do you decide who to disappoint or let down? Let's say you decide to spend some quality time with the one you love, once you tell your friends, would you agree it's expected for them to be frustrated, but at least be understanding?

Complicated
-Adj

• difficult to analyze, understand, explain, etc.: a complicated problem

• not easy to understand or analyze

I Feel Like Whooping Some Ass!

2009-04-27T00:08:00.000-07:00

I've been nice, and I'm done with being nice. This muthafuckin is getting on my damn nerves, and pretty soon the gloves are coming OFF!

So I think I've been as nice about the situdamnation as I can be so I now see I have be more blunt or either accept defeat.

Sunday Sound-Off

2009-04-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm creating a new series. It's called "Sunday Sound-off". This is an opportunity to say what you feel or what's on your mind.

Feel free to ask questions, gripe, show some love, or just talk about things that happen day to day.

Sunday will be the day to sound-off. I'll see how successful it is. I hope everyone comes by.

So with that being said, it's time to .. .. .. .. .. ..

Sound-Off!!

Disturbing

2009-04-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

503Idiot: I'm putting my son up for adoption, and I'm talking to the foster parents.

Me: You are not!

503Idiot: Yea, he came to live wit me and he told me he was gay and I kicked him out so I'm puttin him in foster care.

Me: How old is he? What does his mom say??

503Idiot: his mom just went to jail for like 5 years and he 12 years old.

Me: Boy please tell me you are kidding

503Idiot: Na, real talk. It's weird but now that I know he gay, I look at him like a faliure and he ask me to help him with his homework and I don't even want to sit by him. He started crying but I told him if turn back straight he is welcomed back home. So I gotta put him with someone that can tolerate his lifestyle.

Me: But 503Idiot you aren't straight. would you feel better if he said he was bi like you? come on man, that's ya son. I know it ain't the easiest thing, but you have you tried?

503Idiot: I feel that's all the more reason I don't want him gay because I know it's bout bullshit. And if he was bi it would be the same thing but I got another son I gotta focus on raising. he like girls a lot and he acts normal so I'm proud of him but I think if the oldest didn't turn out to be a weirdo then we might be closer.

Me: He only 12. He might not even know what he's saying. Come on man. That's yo flesh and blood.

503Idiot: I know. It hurts. But I don't want a faggot for a son and i don't want him to get AIDS

Me: Not Every gay person gets AIDS.

503Idiot: I know, but like 50% do.

Me: That's not true, but I'll save that conversation for another time. You don't love him because he's gay?? If you don't want him to get AIDS, you gotta educate him.

503Idiot: He needs a better home. Trust me, I never thought I would say this but I think we need to go our separate ways.

Me: I'm sorry you feel that way. That makes me sad.

503Idiot: He will thank me when he gets older.

Me: I don't think so. I think he will grow to resent you. how long have you thought about this?

503Idiot: About two months. I let him down easy when he was crying and he told me that he prayed that I would accept him and not hit him when I found out he liked other boys at his school because he is really trying to change but he can't seem to. I told him I still loved him and i'm doing this to make him a stronger person.

Me: This conversation is really making me sad.

503Idiot: Me too, but I have another son.

This converation came from someone who I thougth was cool dude. We aren't friends, but when we see eachother we are cool. We laugh and joke about different things. In the community he isn't liked very much, but as far as I was concerned, I never was exposed to the negative side of him, so I would actually defend him. This conversation is wrong on so many different levels, it literally left me speechless. It's apparent he's made his mind up, but my heart is so heavy for not only the kid, but for 503Idiot.

This is the strongest level of self I have ever seen with my own eyes. I'm more sad for 503Idiot. I hope his son finds a foster parent who will shower him with all the love this young man deserves I wish this kid all the success in the world, and when his sorry ass daddy comes with his hand out, he tells him to go to the other son and get what he needed since he made him so proud. Seriously?? You can be so simple that just because one son likes girls, he makes you proud and because the other son likes boys you feel like a failure?

Stupid is as stupid does. . . .

Michelle Immortalized

2009-04-09T07:15:00.001-07:00

Wax figures of

First Lady Michelle Obama

and

U.S. President Barack Obama

are seen at Madam Tussauds in Washington on April 7, 2009.

Michelle Obama's wax figure was unveiled for the first time.

There's No Place Like Home

2009-04-05T02:33:00.000-07:00

Monday March 30, 2009
So March 30th is a very signficant day. March 30th is my younger brother David's birthday. It's somewhat of a tough day for me because he passed away at the age of 19.

My flight was to depart EWR at 8:30 am, so we had a early morning. Waking up and packing and getting moving to the airport wasn't so bad. I have to say because of what the day was, I wasn't in the best moods. Once I explained that to Phenomenal, he showed so much concern and it was nice of him to say and do the things he did. Those moments are personal, so I'll keep them to myself.

I get all checked in and get to my gate. My plane comes and takes off without a hitch. I will say that I had never felt so much turbulance during a take off. I was trying not to react, but I was just knew I wasn't going to make it off that plane. But low and behold, 5 hours later, I made to Seattle, WA.

My lay over there was to be an hour and half, but it turned into two hours. I swear I don't think I will ever take another flight that has a layover. I will pay the extra money for the direct flight. I got so irritated waiting for that flight, I thought my head was going to explode, and it wasn't that late! I was just fed up with waiting.

Well I got into Portland and was happy to be back home.

The End. . .

Easy Like Sunday Morning

2009-04-04T02:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday March 29, 2009
Sunday was a pretty relaxing day. Just pretty much stayed around the "house". Phenomenal and I had a pretty long night. I'll leave that up to you to decipher. We required some R&R, which was nice and much needed.

If you remember, I said I did a ton of shopping which required me to have to shopping for another bag to be able to carry on the plane home. So we went and got a cheapie duffle bag that I'll probably never use again.

Then we decided to hit up another movie. We went and saw The Last House on the Left. I have to say this movie was really good. At first I kinda gave Phenomenal the side eye when he said he wanted to see it, but after the movie started, I was like, damn this movie is good. Yep, this one gets my recommendation.

Since Monday was a work day and also flight day for me, we called it a night kinda early. Got back "home" and packed and pretty much went to sleep! !

To be continued . . .

The Big Apple

2009-04-03T02:40:00.000-07:00

Saturday March 28, 2009
Once we came to from the party on Friday night, I wanted to see the city. The plan was to see the Statue of Liberty, The Empire State Building, Times Square, Central Park, and just sight see in general. You know, the whole tourist thing.

Well things didn't go quite as planned. Phenomenal over slept so we got off to a late start. We had to bypass actually going to the Statue of Liberty because it was a five hour event. It would have been nice to have done the islands, but I didnt' have five hours to spare. But I did see it in passing (inside joke).

I did go and do some shopping on Canal Street. It was a trip. FUN, but a trip. After we left Canal street, we went onto Times Square. We hit up Hard Rock Café, We tried to have a drink at Planet Hollywood but there wasn't anywhere to sit and the wait in the restaurant was way too long, so we left. I wanted to go to the Virgin Megastore to discover the store is CLOSING! UGH! How dare they close the store in Times Square.

I also so the MTV Studio, the Broadway Therater, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. So many things. It was a action packed day I won't borew you with all the details, but we did an aweful lot. I think I had about 4 heartattacks and I gave Phenomenal about 2. I thought I was going to die with all that wild driving.

This day was really nice. It was a full day of nobody but Phenomenal and me. After the day was over we both decided we needed to have an adult beverage, so we went and had like 3 or 4 Long Islands, french fries and quesadilla.

To be continued . . .

Shopping & Partying

2009-04-02T02:34:00.000-07:00

Friday March 27, 2009
Phenomenal didn't take the day off from work, so I spent the afternoon walking Jersey Gardens mall. That damn mall had over 2oo stores and I think I saw just about every single one of them. But before I did all those things, I had to grab a bite to eat.

I made a poor decision and decided upon Nathan's. It was GROSS. Greasy and GROSS. I threw that shit away.

I did a lot of shopping. I bought quite a bit for myself, and my kids. That mall had so many stores. DAYUM! Things were cool though. I was there for a long time. Finally I simply got tired of walking and went back "home".

After getting back tot the hotel I took a nap. A brotha was tired. I woke up once Phenomenal called to say he was on his way to the barber and to change clothes because we were heading to the movies to see the Haunting in Connecticut and then to ShawnQT's birthday party.

He's already blogged about, but there were so many damn people there. It must have been about 1002 degrees so I kept going outside to get some fresh air. That air was feeling good. I met some pretty cool people. I got to meet Mark, and Mark, Steven, Keke or Kay kay or something. She was nice, Phenomenals God brother (can't remember his name either).

I met a few bloggers while I was there:

Aspire
Thoughts and Confessions of a Jersey Brotha
Dreams in a Fitted
I wonder...
Jay's Distorted World
Key in life of O
A Reality Dose

I also heard that a few others were there, and if I met you , I apologize for not naming you. I gotta give a shout out to my boy Linx even though he doesn't blog. It was nice seeing him.

There was a birthday song. Like to hear it? Here it goes . . . . Phenomenal got his shoulder all up in the camera

To be continued . . . .

West meets East

2009-04-01T02:09:00.000-07:00

Thursday March 26, 2009
I board a plane in Portland, OR heading to Boston, MA. My flight was to leave at 7 am. I stayed the night with my bestfriend since he lives closer to the airport than I do.

The alarm goes off, but ironically, Phenomenal called at the same exact time. He said he was calling to leave a message for me, but I ruined it by answering. We exchanged pleasantries, some light humor, then we hung up because I had to hustle and get out the door. I shit, shower and shave, then I go into bestie's room and this dude is knocked out.

After Bestie gets me to the airport, I get all checked in and blah blah blah. . . . . . I board the plane and we take off. I get all comfortable in my seat and pop in my iPod, and close my eyes. I didn't think I was sleepy, but before I knew it, we were about 2 hours away from my destination. Keep in mind the flight was a little over five hours.

I arrive to Boston. I had a two hour layover traveling to Newark, NJ. what was to be a two hour layover turned into a FOUR hour layover.

I'm sitting at the airport bored as hell, so I'm like . . . I'm about to have a drink. I ended up having 3 butterscotch martini's (they were on special). I was feeling fine. Boarding time came and I get on. The flight from Boston to New Jersey was less than an hour, but that didn't stop me from getting a Brandy & Coke on the way there.

I land. Phenomenal calls to see where the hell I am. He had the hardest damn time finding me. But when he did, it was nice to see him. We go to Applebee's and grab a bite to eat, then I go to check in at the Holiday Inn. We get to the room and take a couple of pictures and needless to say we "carried on".

To be continued . . . . . .

When It Gets Good

2009-03-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

Y’all, the unkempt fella below is a demon of exponential proportions. His mom caught him having solo-relations, told the lil’ bastard to stop, so he punched her dead in her face.

Dade City, Florida (The Weekly Vice) — Antwan L. Grandberry, a 19-year-old Dade City man was arrested after assaulting mother who caught him masturbating.

According to the Dade City Police Department, the incident began about 7 p.m. Tuesday when Grandberry’s mother looked outside and saw her son, Antwan, masturbating in the back yard. She reportedly yelled at him to stop.

Grandberry walked around to the front of the house and rang the doorbell. When the mother answered and yelled at him once more, Grandberry responded by punching his mother in the face, according to the arrest report.

Grandberry was booked into the Pasco County Jail on a charge of domestic violence where he currently remains in lieu of a $500 bond.

Fear

2009-03-05T13:12:00.001-08:00

FEAR:
False Energy Appearing Real
False Evidence Appearing Real
False Emotions Appearing Real
False Expectations Appearing Real

Do you see the common theme here? FEAR is simply a false representation of something we believe to be real. What you expect and what you hold in your thoughts or consciousness becomes your reality. Fear wants you to believe the unbelievable - that you can't accomplish your goal, that you shouldn't trust yourself or others, that you shouldn't try new things, that you just can't...

Break free of the FEAR prison and challenge your fears. Have you given them energy they don't deserve? Are they an excuse not to reach your goals and be successful? No matter what they are, challenge them and overcome them.

Here is another acronym for FEAR:
For Everything A Reason
Which one will you relate to?

Condom Anyone?

2009-03-04T03:40:00.000-08:00

Cover your stump before you hump

Don't be silly, protect your Willie

Don't be a loner, cover your boner

If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it

Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker

The right selection, is to protect your erection

If you really love her, wear a cover

Don't make a mistake, cover your snake

If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket

If you think he'll sigh, cover old one eye

Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed

Condomize then sodomize

Wrap your bate before you mate

Conceal your train, don't cause pain

Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon

Listening Skill

2009-03-01T03:07:00.000-08:00

Just how well do we LISTEN??

What does it take for us to actually LISTEN??

Scenario 1

At my church, I teach. My pastor is really big on having training sessions for people who are in leadership positions and being a teacher is considered being a leader. With that saide, another thing my pastor is big on is repeating himself. One particular training session one of the fellow members had her young son with her. At one point my pastor asked if there were any questions. This young guy who must be about 7 or 8 asked with a very astounding look on his face, "Why do you keep saying the same thing over and over?" Needless to say the mother tried to cut him off midway through his question but it was too late, he had already blurted it out.

My pastor resonded to the entire group. He explained how if you only say something once, it may be missed. If you say it again, it's possible they catch it, but miss the purpose behind you saying it. Say it again, in a different way, and they just may get it at that time.

Just then I thought to myself, that is so true. There are times when someone can be talking to me, and my mind will wander and I'll be like "What did you just say?"

Scenario 2

If I had a shiny penny for the numerous times I have had to repeat myself to my kids to get them to think or to remember about what I've told them. I think we all know repetition is the best way to remember something. If we repeat it enough, it'll come as second nature and we will do it without even thinking about it.

How fine tuned are your listening skills? How many times does it take someone to say something to you before you actually get it? What determines how much attention you are giving the speaker? Does it matter who they are? Does it have to be an authoitative figure? How about a boyfriend or girlfriend? Oh, I know, it has to be your parents? If not your parents, then how about your grandparents?

I have to admit that sometimes I feel like a broken record because I have to say the same thing over and over. No matter my delivery. I can be calm and collected, I can be pissed to the highest pistivity, I can be on the brink of tears. When I say it and I keep getting the same result. When do I say FUCK IT, they don't care enough, so neither should I?

Relationships

2009-02-27T02:07:00.000-08:00

Here is an opportunity to self reflect. The focus is relationships. Think back and figure out why your last relationship didn't workout, and think about what you would do differently in your next relationship to make it work. (Lets see who can be honest- this is an opportunity to list faults be it theirs or yours).

To make this have some substance to it, we are focusing on serious relationships and not a "three month fling". Hopefully you will gain some insight into yourself and what you may need to focus on to have a better and or improve your current or future relationships.

Having been in the situation of ending a long-term relationship myself, there are a lot of things you have to deal with. Just to name a few: Coping Techniques, Survival Skills, Finances, and Learning to love again.

Whether you separated yesterday, or a year ago, you are still emotionally attached to that love, but you are no longer together. This may help you to gain some closure and insight.

Listed below are some reasons I thought may be why most African American men separate. You can pick as many as you like or the main reason your last serious relationship faded away.

Passion is gone/Unaffectionate man

Cyber Cheating

Thought the grass would be greener elsewhere

Abusive behaviors and personality traits

Not attracted to him

Alcohol and drug abuse

Family

Lack of support from friends

Relocation

Gender issues

Went back to wife or girlfriend

Financial problems

Acting single

Cheating/Infidelity

Spirituality

HIV/AIDS

Physical, verbal and/or emotional violence

Competitiveness

Communication problems

Fairness and equity

Mental and physical health

Jealousy

No clue

Self Talk

2009-02-25T14:32:00.001-08:00

Even if you don't struggle with an eating disorder, too often our comments about our bodies are judgmental, critical, and negative.

Write down two things that you appreciate about your body and its amazing abilities. Example: "I love that I am strong enough to pick up my 10 year old son and give him a hug."
In addition, and more importantly, write down at least two things that you appreciate about some other aspect of your being. Example: "I appreciate my ability to be a great listener and friend."

Refer back to these statements and affirmations at times when you feel critical or just need an emotional boost.

PSA

2009-02-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

What

Black

Men

Think

2009-02-16T15:18:00.000-08:00

Kinda Neat

Get On With Life

2009-02-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

Some people are not going to like you no matter what you do or what you say. Get over it and get on with life.

Some of your efforts are not going to bring the results you we’re after. Accept it and get on with life.

Occasionally you'll be distracted and knocked off course for a while. On a regular basis, life will have its disappointments. Learn from it and get on with life.

Those disappointments and distractions do not have to stop you. In fact, you can choose to let them inspire you and to push you forward. Channel your dissappointments and get on with life.

No matter what has just happened, you are free in this moment to act with positive purpose. Whether the past has worked in your favor or not, the future is yours to create as you wish. Embrace what's to come and get on with life.

Life is too important to waste it feeling sorry for yourself or beating yourself up. Get up and get on with life, and make it match your highest expectations.

Get On With Life.

Black History Month Moment

2009-02-05T04:53:00.000-08:00

Barack H Obama

Barack Hussein Obama was born Aug. 4, 1961, in Honolulu, Hawaii. His father, Barack Obama, Sr., was born of Luo ethnicity in Nyanza Province, Kenya. He grew up herding goats with his own father, who was a domestic servant to the British. Although reared among Muslims, Obama, Sr., became an atheist at some point.

Obama’s mother, Ann Dunham, grew up in Wichita, Kansas. Her father worked on oil rigs during the Depression. After the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, he signed up for service in World War II and marched across Europe in Patton’s army. Dunham’s mother went to work on a bomber assembly line.
After the war, they studied on the G. I. Bill, bought a house through the Federal Housing Program, and moved to Hawaii.

Meantime, Barack’s father had won a scholarship that allowed him to leave Kenya pursue his dreams in Hawaii. At the time of his birth, Obama’s parents were students at the East–West Center of the University of Hawaii at Manoa.

Obama’s parents separated when he was two years old and later divorced.
Obama’s father went to Harvard to pursue Ph. D. studies and then returned to Kenya.

His mother married Lolo Soetoro, another East–West Center student from Indonesia. In 1967, the family moved to Jakarta, where Obama’s half-sister Maya Soetoro–Ng was born. Obama attended schools in Jakarta, where classes were taught in the Indonesian language.

Four years later when Barack (commonly known throughout his early years as
"Barry") was ten, he returned to Hawaii to live with his maternal grandparents, Madelyn and Stanley Dunham, and later his mother (who died of ovarian cancer in 1995).

In his memoir, Obama described how he struggled to reconcile social perceptions of his multiracial heritage. He saw his biological father (who died in a 1982 car accident) only once (in 1971) after his parents divorced.

After high school, Obama studied at Occidental College in Los Angeles for two years. He then transferred to Columbia University in New York, graduating in 1983 with a degree in political science.

Obama entered Harvard Law School in 1988. In February 1990, he was elected the first African–American editor of the Harvard Law Review. Obama graduated magna cum laude in 1991.

After law school, Obama returned to Chicago to practice as a civil rights lawyer, joining the firm of Miner, Barnhill & Galland. He also taught at the University of Chicago Law School. And he helped organize voter registration drives during Bill Clinton's 1992 presidential campaign.

Obama met his wife, Michelle, in 1988 when he was a summer associate at the Chicago law firm of Sidley & Austin. They were married in October 1992 and live in Kenwood on Chicago's South Side with their daughters, Malia (born 1998) and Sasha (born 2001).

Obama’s advocacy work led him to run for the Illinois State Senate as a Democrat. He was elected in 1996 from the south side neighborhood of Hyde Park.

In 2000, Obama made an unsuccessful Democratic primary run for the U. S.
House of Representatives seat held by four-term incumbent candidate Bobby Rush.

In the November 2004 general election, Obama received 70% of the vote to Keyes's 27%, the largest electoral victory in Illinois history. Obama became only the third African-American elected to the U.S. Senate since Reconstruction.In February 2007, Obama made headlines when he announced his candidacy for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination. He was locked in a tight battle with former first lady and current U.S. Senator from New York, Hillary Rodham Clinton until he became the presumptive nominee on June 3, 2008. On November 4th, 2008, Obama defeated Republican presidential nominee John McCain for the position of U.S. President. He became the 44th president of the United States on January 20, 2009.

Live Life, Don't Let Life Live You

2009-02-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

So I have to admit, I have spent the last couple of weeks feeling down and even a little sorry for myself. My last two post were a little gloomy, but if you are all really true friends/blog readers/confidants, you know we have to take the good with the bad. For those who have shown me support I thank you profusely. I have decided it was time to pull myself up by my bootstraps and live life, and live life I will.

Go Cardinals! (That's for you Knothead)

I have a quote I've been sayin for years: Live life, don't let life live you!

Final Resting

2009-01-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

June 16, 1953 - January 13, 2009

R.I.P. Uncle